Another year is wrapping up, and instead of resolutions I tend to look back and see what if anything I’ve accomplished. The minutes, hours, and days fly by much faster than they used to. my body reminds me on occasion that it’s not 20 anymore, slow down a bit. My mind tells me to ignore that thought, you are 20. I watch my children grow more successful each day and hope that I was an influence in there somehow. Grand children oh the grandchildren, how I miss them. I don’t see them as much as I should. I should be a better grandmother. I’ve never seen myself as a gray haired little old lady, but that’s creeping up on me too.
I should have a bucket list, but don’t. Makes things seem like they will come to an end, and I do want to live forever. I don’t want to miss a thing. I miss my parents. I have regrets, but don’t dwell on them. I lived , I learned. I hope. I work everyday to make people happy. Whether it’s with food, a paycheck, or an encouraging word. And I get tired. Lord I get tired. I wish I could remember all the memories of my childhood, and other times. I’d write a book just for me. Something to read before bedtime and remind me just how long I’ve been around and some of the things the good Lord has allowed me to experience.
Guess this time of year is a little melancholy. Thanks for being a part of my life. I’m fortunate to have Troy as my anchor or there is no telling where I’d fly off to. God bless and keep you.

It is cold outside.
No, it is frozen outside, like Queen Elsa had a bad day, cold.
It will probably take 30 minutes to get into my car. Mainly because I will start it and come back inside and have more coffee. I let the defrost do its thing. No since in breaking a sweat in 20 degrees to scrape a window when the ice will melt all by itself.
Eventually
Besides, an extra cup of coffee is always nice.
We cleaned out the refrigerator yesterday, and put food out back for the barn cats and our visiting opossum. He was scarfing down mushrooms last night when I looked out. Some people find them ugly. I think they are cute as a bug. Especially when I think about them eating all the unwanted bugs in the yard. He has even taken food from Troy’s hand before. I think he knows we are friends. And friends lend a helping hand when they can.
My body does not want to go out in the cold. I dont like socks or coats. I know, weird.
But today I have to suck it up and wear both. Work calls and I have to adult whether I like it or not.
We all do things we don’t want to do. Of course they need to be done. My goal one day is to not have to do those things. Work on my own time. Have my own rules I can change at random and never use an alarm clock again.
I will have that extra cup of coffee, watch the sun come up from my porch, not my windshield, and wear pajamas all day if thats my wish.
Play secret Santa all year long, making people smile unexpectedly.
Read and write. Sip wine or screwdrivers in the middle of the day with a lunch of cake if I so desire.
Goals.
Its never too late in life to have them.
Always something to look forward to. I will achieve them. So if you want on my Santa list. You better behave!
Stay warm my friends. If you are fortunate to get to stay in, do so. Snuggle a loved one or fur baby. Enjoy the solitude or company.
Just enjoy.
Love big

Lorene

This man right here keeps me grounded. Don’t get me wrong, he will get mad with me, sad with me and happy with me, but know how to smooth my feathers when the time comes.
He loves me like no other.
He enjoys me being me.
He makes me laugh.
He supports me and my crazy dreams.
He wraps his arms around me to keep me safe or others safe if that’s the case.

He is Big Daddy.

Remember when you prayed for the things you have today.
Don’t forget, not all things come easily.
You’ve come a long way baby.
It’s hard to appreciate what we have when we forget it wasn’t always there.
I’ve prayed to survive teen motherhood. Do what was best for my daughter, give her as many opportunities as I possibly could, all the while becoming the grown woman I thought I already was.
I made it.
More importantly, SHE made it.
I prayed for a career in law.
I was taken on a career path like no other. Twists and turns, 8 lane highways and one lane country dirt roads most of the time with no brakes or power steering.
What a ride it has been! And I’m still cruising right along.
I’ve prayed for the shape i had in high school.
I have that hour glass figure, however the sands of time have shifted and I’m ok with that.
I’ve prayed to have enough money for rent and food. The ability to keep me and my child warm and safe.
I was blessed with friends and room mates that were there for me. 10 for a dollar mac and cheese and pizzas not picked up where I worked.
Now I’m ashamed to say, I have a crisper where vegetables come to die. A fur baby that eats better than some children in the country.
I prayed for a soul mate.
I was given good men in my life. Each relationship made me who I am today. They gave me Life lessons, children, tears, heart break, love and friendship.
All of which prepared me for Troy.
Be careful what you pray for….
I only hope he was prepared for someone like me.
I’ve done a lot of praying in 50 plus years, not all were answered in the way I imagined, but all answers led me here.
Everyone that has touched my life is a result of prayer, directly or indirectly.
So pray.
To your God or Goddess, mother earth or the Universe.
They all are answered in time. Just look around, some of the things around you started out as prayers.
Lorene

I was sad to see Santa all alone. Kids just walked by him. I walked up to him and said “I remember when there was always a line to see you.” He smiled with a twinkle in his eye, and said not many believe anymore, except the ones who ask if my beard is real and I let them tug on it. I yell ouch! And they believe again.
Merry Christmas Santa

istillbelieve

thetwinkleisreal

Getting motivated this morning is a little slow.
I would much rather sit and sip my coffee until the sun comes up.
I’m sure the wine from last night has a little to do with it and the headache I have.
It did help me sleep without my brain in 4th gear.
I am terrible about bringing my work home with me. I genuinely care about my staff and their well being, my position and duties. Sometimes I get a little behind in my own work helping to fill in the holes, but I own my mistakes and accept my hand slap like a responsible adult.
And I promise to do better.
I will make better mistakes today.
Big Daddy always knows when I need to decompress from an event of any kind that drains me.
So he put on Iron Man 3 and held my hand.
There is just something about a super hero. They swoop in to save the day and look good doing it. They can make the crazy world around you vanish if only for a couple of hours. They take your thoughts to better places, making you smile and laugh. They steal your heart and your imagination. They wrap their cape around you to shield you from the bad stuff.
My frustrations melted away. I could feel my body relax. My super hero had saved the day once more.
He even watched a movie with me.
Hug your super hero today.
Love big
Lorene

Alone in the dark once more. Sipping hot coffee and planning out my day.
A night out with friends always makes for a wonderful day. Whether its dinner, a movie, Game night or just drinks by the fire, the company of those you love can change your entire outlook on a crappy day.
What about alone time?
You know I have mine, bless your hearts you end up reading about it.
Time alone is easy and enjoyable when you like the company you are with.
Did you get that?
Read it again.
I like my own company.
I like who I am and love spending time with me as much as I love time with a bestie.
I can talk myself into shenanigans faster than anyone.
I am comfortable having a meal at a restaurant alone.
Table for one.
I’m sure people think, how sad, she doesnt have anyone to share a meal with today.
Or maybe something not as nice if I’m bellied up to the bar having margarita appetizers.
Please, I can make a sandwich at home.
I can order pizza.
I can mix a cocktail.
I can go to a drive thru.
I choose to sit and enjoy a meal without conversation.
Enjoying each bite, inhaling the aroma of each spice, tasting the flavors slowly, sipping a nice wine.
People watching, day planning, relaxing.
But most importantly, spending time with someone I love.
Refilling myself so I can continue to share with others.
If only everyone would love themselves for who they are and aspire to be.
It makes it so much easier to love others unconditionally.
I love my own company.
When I learned to do that, my life bloomed, became less self conscious, doubting, insecure and more challenging, aware, secure and happy.
Love you. I do!

Lorene

I can not believe its just Thursday. This has been the longest week of the year.
I won’t complain.
Most days fly by and before I knew it I have a 17 year old grand daughter.
Birthday after birthday I notice more lines around my eyes and different pills in my pill pack.
My body fusses at me after a long day at work or a day on the couch. I snap, crackle and pop like a box of cereal. Some days it just refuses to move without a slow shuffle to warm it up. I know I should be kinder to it, but I refuse to let life fly by without me smack in the middle.
People “my age” should be more careful. Not push the envelope, sit on the sidelines.
Ha!
Pop wheelies in that wheelchair I say!
Push the alert button when you know that hot fireman is working.
Watch Magic Mike on a loop.
Make your grown children shake their heads and secretly hope they grow old with the same attitude as you.
I know I am years away from a safe alert button, however….
Growing old is my next new adventure! The second half of my century will be as eventful as the first.
New careers, hobbies, friends and memories.
I will take my vitamins but enjoy my pizza and wine.
I will not slow down.
I will try to stay out of the ER but I make no promises, there are still mountains to climb.
So pop that vitamin B 12 and skedaddle!
There are laughs and smiles to be had! Enjoy each and every one.
Go out ragged and worn, use up what the good Lord gave you. It will be all new again sooner than you think.
Love big
Lorene

I dont think we all look at for what we have to be grateful. What we want, dont have, or not happy about is usually the focus.
Take those, and think about the good that comes from them.
Example:
I have my mother’s hooded eyes. I see women with beautiful made up eyes, the smoky look, winged eyeliner, you get the picture. I have never had that, nor could I ever. It used to make me feel less pretty in a way. I wanted eyes like that. Big, beautiful, colorful eyes.
My outlook now?
I have my mother’s hooded eyes. I see my mom every time I look into the mirror. My brown unshadowed eyes see my grandbabies growing up, the beautiful colors in the trees, my furbabies nose first thing in the morning. My eyes see the love, caring and adoration in my husband’s face, my children and their families, laughing and living life. My eyes see promise, hope, and love.
I wasted a long time fretting over what my eyes were not, when oh the wonders I was missing!
Dont make that same mistake. Change the way you perceive things now. Your life will change. I promise!

Lorene 2018

I’m sitting here sipping my coffee, sending out my morning texts. I have friends that I send motivational messages to start their day.
I also try to send one to the hospital staff when I send my daily email with the menu.
I see no reason to start the day dragging mentally.
At my age I may drag physically, but that’s not by choice. My state of mind is my responsibility and I’d rather start and finish my day happy.
I love writing in the morning. There are times I don’t have a clue what to write about, like this morning. So I just journal what I am doing.
I am no Kardashian, probably more of a Lucy, so you won’t see me on the big screen, however here you can catch a glimpse of my life.
Exciting
To me.
You would see me nap after work here lately.
Its been pretty physical and mental lately but it won’t get me down.
My goal is to write for a living and do that from a beach or a balcony overlooking God’s beauty in nature.
And I have to write to do that.
This is the best time.
I want my readers to look for my words first thing in the morning. Use them to start their day out fresh and motivated. Be upset if I miss a day. Sometimes I get a message asking if they missed it.
That makes me feel like I will write for a living .
I have faith.
Dreams and goals get us through the day.
Make sure you focus on yours, and inch closer to them. They are yours for the picking.
Well, since I don’t have anything to say this morning, I will wish you all a fabulous and productive day.
Be kind and
Love big
Lorene