Feb 13, 2020

27° feels like 14°
I don’t want to feel 14
I want to at least feel my age! Brrr
Outside is not appealing to me today.
I’m inside, sipping my coffee wearing house shoes.
That’s all.
House shoes.
Don’t act surprised, I’ve told you before I run around naked in the house. It helps me be comfortable in my skin.
My feet were cold, hence the house shoes.
Its always easier to stay in the comfort of your own home. Or circle.
Venturing out can be cold and cruel at times.
Unwelcoming
Some of the people you meet arent comfortable in their skin so they criticize yours, sometimes making you doubt your own existence, your clothing choice, hairstyle or even what you choose to eat.
I know people talk about me, have secret nicknames they call me.
I love it!
You know why.
I’m in their heads.
Something about me makes them think of me a lot! Good thoughts or bad, they are consumed by me.
I had a woman comment on my skirt once, it was far from a compliment, saying….well now, THAT skirt is very different.
I looked at her, sitting alone, not a smile to be seen and smiled the biggest smile I could muster and responded…YES! THANK YOU! different just like me! Why be normal? Have a great day!
I chose that skirt because it was different. Remember the game TETRIS?
Your goal was to fit the pieces together.
Well, when you make them fit in,
They disappeared.
Hmmmm
I kind of like being that fruit loop in a world of cheerios. And you should too!
Be you! No one else can do that!
Many have imitated, but none have mastered being like me.
I change every day.
I grow.
I evolve.
I like me,
And my company.
And I’m not afraid to wear that different skirt in public or nothing at home.
I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.
Who wants to be tea anyway?
I’m more a shot of fireball.
Some can handle it, some cant.
Most will just sit back and watch the show.
I wonder what fireball in coffee tastes like…
Never mind, time to put some clothes on.
I hope you have the most wonderful, different day!
Be you!
Love Big!
Lorene

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Faith

And just like that, everyone was reaching out into the universe for balance.
Well played NASA, well played.
I have a secret I’m going to share.
You can use the powers of the universe on a daily basis.
Now that you’ve made your brooms stand alone, try the trick on yourselves. It’s not really a trick. The broom didn’t stand itself up.
You did it.
You stopped what you were doing, focused on making that broom stand at attention. Your hands were gentle and coaxing, you told the broom…you can do it.
You expected that broom to stand alone.
Slowly you pulled away your hands, the crutch that was holding it in place and backed away.
It started to sway a bit and you reached out to support it once more, imagining it standing alone, long enough to snap a picture for Facebook.
You slowly back away, giving it space.
And
TADA!
YOU DID IT!
It’s amazing what we can do with a little focus and balance.
Now, using the same process, balance YOU.
You made a broom do it.
You had more faith in that broom than you have for yourself on a daily basis.
Tsk tsk
The powers of the universe are yours for the taking. There is enough to go around.
Pray for it
Meditate for it
Reach for it
Balance yourself
It’s not one day a year that we have to wait for an alignment. Draw that energy daily.
Absorb it.
Be filled with it.
Post THAT picture on Facebook.
Love Big
Lorene

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God’s plan?

Do you ever wonder about your existence?
Why you are here?
I’ve been told there is a reason for everything, God has a plan for you.
But do you ever wonder what it is?
I have often wondered what my contribution to mankind is or was.
Is my purpose complete?
Is it ongoing?
Was it a chain of events? opening a restaurant, hiring someone who would later perform the Heimlich on a patron, saving his life?
When I took the time to chat with someone who later said it was the reason they did not put a gun to their head, was that my purpose?
Was it the time I paid someone’s electric bill?
Or when I secretly purchased a soldier’s lunch?
Maybe volunteering to ring bells at Christmas, that money feeding a family or sending a child to camp.
Encouraging someone to follow their dreams?
Or when all I could do was hug a hurting friend?
If there was a flashing sign saying….
THIS IS IT, YOUR PURPOSE FOR BEING HERE,
Would I stop being kind?
Stop volunteering?
Stop hugging or taking the time to chat with someone?
God, I hope not.
I truly believe knowing I helped someone, no matter how small makes my existence worth it.
Maybe that’s their purpose.
Making a difference in my life.
Validation for my existence.
Full circle.
Treat each act as though it is your purpose.
The results may be for you.
Love hard.
Lorene

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Feb 10, 2020 working for the weekend

I swear sometimes I work for the weekend.
I’m excited the weekend is coming like I have these extravagant plans.
Sometimes I do have plans.
Sometime they fall through or just change for one reason or another.
Take this weekend for example.
Plans didnt pan out for saturday so I stayed home.
In my pajamas.
I organized a few things for caterings, did laundry, snuggled with Maddie,
and I deliberately took a nap.
I paused Netflix and took an hour nap.
I will fall asleep watching a movie. Not on purpose, it just happens.
This time I laid on the couch, looked at the clock and said to myself just an hour.
My body needed refreshing.
It had been a work week that seemed to last a month.
So from 240 until 345, I slept.
And it felt good.
So I did it again on sunday.
Apparently my body was talking to me.
I should listen more.
I push and push to exhaustion at times.
That is not healthy.
And these days I am more concerned about health. Extending my time on this planet.
As good as my reasons for relaxing an entire weekend are, on sunday night I feel like I’ve wasted it. If I had accomplished everything I imagined while sitting with my feet up, this house would be amazing!
I’m settling for comfortable.
Homey
Lived in.
Kick your shoes off and make yourself at home, place.
I am not OCD. Although there are times I’d love to be, if just for a weekend.
Who am I kidding, I’d implode.
Back to my weekends.
I am not the wild and crazy teenager, nor Grandma Moses.
I hope to be snuggled somewhere in the middle of the two.
Maybe I just need a recharge weekend to get ready for the next one.
The next one is my anniversary weekend.
So maybe those naps are just what I needed.
Its monday and I am once again thinking about all the things I should have done, I needed to do, while sipping my coffee.
To include buy more coffee…..
I’ll do that Saturday,
Between naps.
Today, I start working for the weekend.
Cheers ☕
Lorene

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My Pencil

My pencil was on my desk and I stopped to look at it. It caught my attention for just a second.
I snapped a picture and forgot about it.
That was maybe a couple of weeks ago and this morning I see it while having my coffee, cleaning out pictures.
This pencil represents me.
When I am old I shall wear purple.
My tip is still sharp but a little muted. Can still do the job with precision and tact, although slightly used. Works to the nub but miraculously hones itself back to working sharpness and to the point. Recycling after long hard projects.
Chewed up by life but still standing tall and strong, no teeth marks showing, just my colors. Smooth and elegant for my age.
Marked at the top with my mistakes over the years with plenty of room for more. That is what life is about, right? Mistakes? And learning from them.
I’ve made them and it shows.
I’ve written my dreams and desires in pencil.
Why?
They are ever changing.
Bigger, better…
Erasable if I outgrow them.
Grab a pencil and write out your goals and dreams today.
Have a cup of coffee while you visualize them coming to you.
Blessings today my friends.
Stand tall.
Stay sharp.
Embrace your mistakes.
But most of all,
Love big.

Lorene

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Feb 7, 2020

No quiet time this morning.
Something much better.
A little extra time with Big Daddy.
Another sleepless night for him, up before me watching the news and OU basketball.
He is the gatekeeper of the family.
He analyzes and worries for the both of us.
I am the optimistic one, he checks around every corner.
We balance each other out.
Where one of us is weak, the other is strong.
We don’t have a 50/50 relationship.
Its 100/100, 0/100, 20/80
Whatever it needs to be at the time.
We are one.
He is more than my husband, he is my life partner.
He knows my secrets and still loves me.
He knows when to whisper in my ear, cheer me on or just remain silent and hold me.
He always has my back.
We are individuals together.
We respect each other and enjoy our time together and self time apart.
Jealousy has no room in our house.
Nor does judgement or accusations.
Just love and friendship and devotion.
I am fortunate.
And grateful.
I’ll trade my quiet time for time with him any day.
I’ll even share my coffee.
Lorene

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Feb 6, 2020

My coffee seems extra wonderful this morning.
I do not want to go out into the cold.
Of course I will, because that’s what adults do.
We have to do a lot of things we don’t like.
Get up and go to work on someone’s else’s schedule.
Pay bills
Wake up before the sun or work until the sun comes up.
Deal with people who have not grabbed the concept of adulting.
Just be DONE with a person or situation and not try to carry a grudge.
Move on.
Pray for those who hate you.
Live with disappointment by others, you cant change them, they make their own decisions.
Cry in private.
Smile when your heart hurts.
Make those hard decisions.
Walk away.
Hug yourself.
When I see someone post “Adulting Sucks” I tend to agree to a point.
Usually it’s on a morning like this where I do not want to get dressed and venture out into the cold dark morning.
But what kind of example am I setting if I do that?
Part of adulting is teaching. Showing the next generation the way.
Being a good example.
So I will grab that second cup of coffee, put my socks on, I dont like wearing socks, and stomp the snow all the way to my cold, icy truck. I’ll grit my teeth, mostly to keep them from chattering, but all you will see is a smile on my face.
Adulting yet another day.
Oh joy!
Wont you join me?
We got this.
Piece of cake.
Lorene

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Feb 5, 2020

Its beautiful outside.
As much as my body hates the cold I love to watch nature and all its glory.
A 4:30 am wake up call took me straight to the door to see what I needed to prepare for, and it’s amazing.
I’ll take snow over ice any day.
Watching the flakes dance, spin and flutter as they meet their friends below, I think about how each and every one is different.
Each beautiful no matter the shape, size or shade. One of the most if not the most delicate and fragile things on the planet.
Alone, it disappears with your touch. But together they form a force to be reckoned with. Strong enough to destroy entire towns.
Amazing what a little team work can accomplish.
However, this morning, before the cars go sloshing through, they are forming a beautiful blanket. Doing what Mother Nature intended.
Balancing out nature.
I hope you are up early enough to see the beauty outside this morning.
Appreciate the job it was sent here to do.
Inhale the crisp, clean, cold air.
Imagine each individual flake that falls.
The beauty, the purpose.
Be safe my friends.
Lorene

Closing the Bistro

For the past few day my Facebook memories have been filled with the closing of the Bistro. One of the most heartbreaking things I’ve had to do.
I’m thankful and grateful I spent 3 years creating an atmosphere and menu that is still talked about today. Raising the bar for good food and service.
I’m proud.
Proud of my staff.
Proud of what I accomplished.
Proud of the legacy.
Yes, I’m boasting and bragging.
My heart and soul was on each and every plate I sent out of my kitchen.
I visited with my customers because i was proud of what went out. Face to face with them to see the experience myself.
I was afraid.
I cried while cooking my first ribeye for a paying customer, scared they would send it back.
I was worried people wouldn’t like my twist on the classics.
If they didn’t like it, they didn’t like me.
It was personal.
I wanted people to appreciate good food and expect it when they go out to dine. Anywhere. Not just the Bistro.
Not many people get to experience their dream.
I did.
And even if I cry once in a while because it’s no more, the Bistro proved once again I can do anything. A 50 year old woman with a dream.
I made numerous friends.
I am so grateful.
The experience led me to yet another career.
Thank you again to all who put us on the map, and shared my dream. And of course to Troy Wood, the man behind the chef, whispering in my ear “you got this”.
No baby, I got YOU and that’s what fuel my fire.

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Jan 31, 2020

I love my life.
Sure there are things about it that could be better.
More money, more time with family, more vacations, newer vehicle… I could go on and on. But if you notice, I have all those things, I could just use a different version.
So i am grateful.
I’ll keep working on improving the quality of what i do have, but never complain.
I wont give you the old….”well some people out there don’t have anything, so you should be thankful” speech.
Do you know why I wont?
Because I’ve been one of those people. And only I could change it.
I’ve made boxed mac and cheese without milk because I couldn’t afford any. Its disgusting by the way.
I’ve missed meals so my child wouldn’t.
Hunger is a great motivator.
I’ve missed holidays with family so I could earn money to pay the rent.
I’ve walked to work because I couldn’t make a car payment. I worked 2 jobs as a single mom to make ends meet. Sometimes they met, sometimes not. And Lord knows I never got them tied together til later in life.
I remember sleeping in a house so cold the dish water in the sink froze.
I’m grateful for what I have.
Not because others have less. But because I worked for what I have and I’m still working to better my quality of life.
I’ll never be shamed because I may have more than someone. I deserve what I have, good or bad.
Don’t think life is fair? Well guess what? It’s not. The fair is in September and you can get fried Oreos.
Don’t like the cards you are dealt?
Double down and try again.
All or nothing.
Go all in.
It’s your life, make it what you want. It wont happen over night unless you inherit a fortune or hit the lottery, but with gratitude and perseverance it will happen.
Imagine it
Want it
Work for it
Live it
Oh, and a good cup of coffee is a great start.
Be grateful my friends and don’t wait for someone else to build your life. Get out there and go for it.
Lorene

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