Month: March 2021

I’m in my space.
Yes
What a way to start the morning.
A little late, I slept in a bit. I’m off work today. Actually til at least next Monday, I have my gallbladder surgery this Monday.
But the weekend is for fun and relaxing.
A ladies retreat.
Time away from testosterone, stress of work, everyday BS. A place where no one judges what you eat, actually encourages it, loves whatever you are lounging about in, pajamas or a little black dress, and will laugh or cry with you, which ever you need at any given moment. No cliques. No judgement. No drama. Just sisterly love.
Belonging
It feels good to belong.
Building friendships can be hard. These ladies make it so easy. You cant help but feel like a village, even when we are apart.
Daily communication. Celebrations of life events. Helping one another in hard times. Last minute lunch or dinner gatherings.
Someone is always reaching out.
A network a women from all aspects of life and careers, supporting each other, mentoring each other, loving each other.
I spoke about having amazing people in my life the other day. This group is right out there with the best.
I know there is always one a phone call away that will encourage me to be my best. Be in my corner.
And I am there for them.
I truly hope you have at least one person in your life that is as amazing as these ladies.
Be sure and thank them today for just being there.
Now, don’t wait.
Thank you ladies, I’m so looking forward to the retreat, cooking, visiting and laughing. Laughing is so good for the soul. And so are relationships like ours.
I love you all!
Kiss!
Lorene

Waiting for my coffee to cool a bit, I am scrolling through pictures on my phone.
I have thousands of them.
Some are ones I have taken, some screenshots, some I stole off the internet.
Grandbabies, fur babies, recipes and food. Lots of food.
I have an entire folder of food.
I believe you eat with your eyes first. If it’s a beautiful plate, it will automatically taste 20% better. Sure food can taste good if it’s a brown mess on your plate, but a plate so gorgeous you cant wait to dive in? That’s dining.
Even at home, make it a dining experience. Pour your OJ in a wine glass, eat your ham sandwich and chips on the good china.
You are worth it.
Take your time.
Enjoy.
At Bistro Lorene, I refused to have “baskets” for food. Your chicken salad sandwich was cut in half, placed on a glass plate, pickled okra on the side, your house made chips piled in the center. So what if it was just lunch, or you only had 30 minutes, it was a meal, an experience, nourishment to help you through the day.
I may be the only person on the planet that feels that way about food. Don’t get me wrong, I have eaten pizza out of the box, sampled dinner so much standing at the stove I am no longer hungry and I have snuggled on the couch with chips and slim Jim’s. No matter, food is an experience.
Maybe I need to contract myself out as a restaurant consultant. Maybe not, I am too picky. 🤣😳 Troy calls me a food snob.
This entire post is just making me hungry. Lol. I’ll be home a few days after surgery Monday, maybe I’ll play in the kitchen again. I miss cooking for my Bistro friends.
Anyway, my mind is wandering to fresh farm eggs and grass fed butter….
Back to my coffee and the start of another day.
Food is life my friends! Experience it today, don’t just woof it down.
Savor each bite.
Later my friends,
Chef Lorene

Its Friday, I should be excited.
Oh. And payday so. Woo hoo!
Well, let’s not get too excited about the paycheck, everyone else has dibs on it. The electric company may have a lien on it because of the winter storm.
I just want to sit with my coffee on the couch. Wrapped in my blanket listening to the house sounds.
I don’t want to “people” today.
I want to write, nap, snuggle my fur baby. Rearrange my home office, no TV, no phone.
Be alone with me.
I love my people. Don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I need to reconnect with me.
Go over life decisions and plans. See if I am on track for my goals and dreams. Maybe rewrite my personal standard operating procedures so I get where I want to go faster.
My life is my business so to speak. I need to have a business plan to keep on track. Goals, dreams, things I want to achieve.
When major events happen, sometimes you have to readjust the game plan.
So I will take some time, but not today, today I must adult.
But soon, I will write down, in pencil, what I want to accomplish this year and in the future, how I plan to get there and what obstacles I need to overcome.
I will live my best life.
And I will always Love Big.
I pray you do the same.
Lorene

I have been surrounded by amazing people my entire life.
You hear a lot about my hubby. Big Daddy, Troy if that is more comfortable to say.
I’m not the only one that calls him that. He’s been a Daddy so to speak for many kids over the past years. A father figure for several. I would say amazing.
Of course there is my Mom. Orchid. As beautiful as the flower itself. A young woman in the 60’s that chose to keep me Although plans fell through and she would be a single parent. Made my life a good one. Chose the perfect man to help raise me. Taught me to cook and encouraged me to be able to take care of myself.
She too is amazing. God rest her soul.
My Daddy, Dudley. The man who accepted me as his own. I was a Daddy’s girl. To this day, before I make decisions I ask myself it would make my dad proud. As a pregnant 17 year I was scared. I was living on my own determined to be a great single mom. He was the one who packed my things and moved me back home. He said “you are not having this baby without me.” I knew I had disappointed him with my choices, but he was the proudest grandpa I’ve ever seen. Truly Amazing. God rest his soul, I lost him 5 months later.
My cousins, growing up together, they truly are your first best friends. Sharing time and secrets. Racing through childhood together.
Family holidays at the grandparents. Life puts time and space between us, but sharing on Facebook has made it possible to watch them and their families grow. Amazing
Childhood friends, you know the ones, they are considered family now.
The ones you haven’t seen or spoke with for 10 years and the day you do it seems like no time has passed.
I have friends that held my hand in that maternity ward, reassuring me I could do it.
Held me when my daddy died.
Babysat for me so I could work and not worry about daycare.
Loved me when I felt unlovable.
Married me and let me go, staying friends.
Remind me they are glad I’m a part of their lives.
Texts out of the blue, reminding me someone thinks about me.
Fed me pizza.
Took care of me after eye surgery when I was blind and drugged.
Told me I was beautiful.
I could go on. My friends are amazing.
Another man entered my life over 20 years ago. George. My biological father. He searched for me and then waited. Hoping someday I’d knock on his door.
A man I never knew existed. Another story I’ll save for later.
Sent me a sweet 16 birthday card and gift when I was in my 30s because he wasn’t there when I celebrated.
He is where I got my stubborn streak.
He gave me away when I married Troy.
He is the one who named me Lorene Marie.
He is amazing.
I could ramble all day telling you all the amazing people in my life. I’ll have to continue another time.
My children deserve a page to themselves.
It’s time to get moving and dressed for another day in paradise.
Go out and be amazing today!
Blessings my friends
Lorene

Made it to yet another Monday.
They come so fast! You are leaving work on Friday, wake up Saturday, and poof!
Monday
And here I sit with my coffee in the dark.
I have a blanket over my shoulders, it’s a bit cool and the ceiling fan gave me goosebumps when I first sat down.
I have a lot of planning to do this morning, I have 4 days to make sure everything is lined up at work so no one has to scramble while I’m off for surgery.
I’m just a text away but I don’t want to stress my staff. I’m sure they will be rockstars while I’m gone. But I feel guilty leaving them.
I know I cant do everything by myself.
But I do put in the effort.
It’s hard for me to sit still.
It’s hard for me to except help at times too.
Depending on others is not easy for me.
I am getting much better at it than I used to be. Delegating some things at work, asking Troy for help at home, asking for help in general is a struggle for me.
I am still learning it is ok to ask for help.
It does not make you a weak person.
It actually makes you stronger.
A stronger leader, partner, friend.
Showing other others you trust them to help you sends them a message. A message of importance and trust.
You are reaching out to someone during a vulnerable moment.
This is also true when you are on the other side of that request. Being asking for help is an honor. Someone trusts you, believes you can do it and doesn’t worry about you failing.
You are reaching back out to them while helping.
Don’t think of asking for help as a weakness. Think of it as strengthening your relationships, building confidence in one another, and letting someone know you need them in your life.
Next week I may be reaching out for a little help, if I do, know it’s because I trust you will do your best and knock it out of the park.
And I don’t have to worry.
I’ll say please and thank you now, I don’t know how my brain will do on the drugs. I may want to apologize in advance. 😳
May you have a blessed week, a beautiful Monday and I hope someone reaches out to you today and you learn how much they trust you.
Lorene

It has been a little rough getting back to normal.
If you want to call it normal.
It’s no longer the same.
Another hole in my existence.
I have been through this before, and eventually I will fill it up with memories. Not all the way, there never seems to be enough to do that. It is in that small dark place I still grieve.
It has been almost 40 years since my Daddy left us. There are times I still cry. I don’t remember his voice, but I do remember a clicking sound he made with his tongue when he had one too many cocktails. And the body shop smells. Bondo. Paint.
2006 I lost my mom. I see her every day when I look in the mirror. No denying we are related. Sometimes her words escape my mouth. I remember her eyes. They lost the twinkle when Daddy died. I don’t remember ever seeing it again.
And now, my Father. A fresh wound to the heart. Fresh memories to store. I’m sure I will remember his gruff voice and gentle hands. The way I would catch him looking at me like he wasn’t sure if I was real. We were still new to each other. We didn’t dwell on the past much, just worked on the present.
I know I will go through this again, not in the near future, I pray. Losing a parent isn’t easy. Even when you know its the way nature is designed. I will hang on to my last one, she is a feisty woman who has shown me love and compassion when she didn’t have to.
I hope I absorbed and learned as much as I could to survive this life, and live it to it’s fullest.
I hope I never stop seeing them in the mirror. Hearing their words cross my lips, or feel that little black hole on occasion.
I want to remember.
I want to celebrate them.
I want to cry.
I want to remember all I can.
Let the memories comfort me.
Until we see each other again.
And get back to normal because that’s what they expect of me.
Living their legacy while forging my own.
They taught me to Love Big,
Lorene

An update on my Monday fiasco.
My youngest daughter, Chemae Woothtakewahbitty called it.
Gallbladder
After a hida scan, my doctor informed me that my gallbladder was working at 11%.
So, if you only pay 11% of your rent every month and make the landlord cringe with pain whenever you feel like it, you would definitely get evicted.
So guess what?
HE IS OUTTA HERE!!!
If my tonsils and appendix can be stellar renters, there is no reason my gallbladder cant do the same.
I am a little disappointed it doesnt weigh 50lbs, that would be a nice benefit of its eviction. I have lost 6 lbs since Monday, so there’s that.
Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know. Surgery is the 9th. Outpatient. I expect to bounce back quickly.
Just send good vibes as always!
Lorene

Jeez Louise, yesterday kicked me in the stomach. About one o’clock my stomach started hurting, I ate gluten and I figured that was it. It usually subsides, but this time it got worse.
I felt like I was costarring in an Alien movie with Sigourney weaver. Something had hold of my stomach from the inside and kept twisting.
Finally about 3:30 I came home. After a few trips to the Bathroom, I laid down in the bed. I was freezing. I slept off and on only to wake to that pain in my stomach.
Troy came home about 7 and checked on me. I finally slept straight until 11.
I woke up sweating and feeling like I was going to pass out. Every inch of my body hurt. Not ache, hurt.
Troy gave me gatorade thinking I was probably dehydrated. I stayed up until about midnight. My ribcage hurting from front to back. I finally went back to sleep.
4:45 and I’m wide awake. My chest hurts, my body aches. No fever. Much better than yesterday for sure.
Today is a busy day for me. So staying home is not an option.
I must adult.
Hopefully it has passed and whatever alien I possessed will not make an entrance.
I’d appreciate all the good vibes today!
Lorene

Monday, coffee and quiet time. Thinking about my weekend.
It was a great weekend.
Friday evening was basically snuggle time with Big Daddy. A good ribeye cooked in butter and garlic cloves and a major pile of broccoli. Couldn’t do much after that meal but snuggle.
Saturday I had friends come by for a girls day. We watched movies, drank screwdrivers, made sliders and sundaes with whipped cream, sprinkles and moonshine cherries.
We were all in our jammies with blankets on the couch. Just enjoying each others company. It reminded me of Saturday morning cartoons after a slumber party when I was a little girl. Straight OJ back then of course.
Sunday brunch and Sam’s shopping then back home to snuggle up again. Maddie and I had Troy pinned in his corner of the couch. Each of us had a side with hand and paw meeting halfway.
They are the best snuggle buddies.
In between time here and there, I did laundry. Decluttered my kitchen countertops and dusted because, well, Oklahoma.
It was amazing how decluttering something I see every day made such a difference in my outlook for the weekend. I am not OCD, but the neatness, open space and brightness made me feel more focused. More in control and less chaotic. I had more energy. It was as though the messy countertops drained me each time I walked by.
I wonder how my better it will get if I continue with the rest of the house. Maybe a bag a day. Fill a trash bag for donation or dump each day. Could take 5 minutes or an hour.
I need to work on that.
Maybe do the same in my brain. My thoughts, feelings, emotions the works. Start tossing some out, organizing others for daily use and storing some for later. Writing them down here helps.
I am collecting my past writing to compile into some sort of book.
Going back and reading some of my thoughts has me wondering what about them attracts readers. One person commented one day my post should go viral. That would be awesome. That many people sharing my thoughts.
Wow just wow.
Now THAT would make my day.
Back to my weekend, boy I ramble….
It was almost perfect.
I had to reschedule a birthday celebration with my oldest grandson, his life is busier than mine. I’m glad it is. We will have our day.
Now Monday reminds me I have a busy week of caterings at work. A late night here and there, then helping a friend with his cater this weekend.
So my last gulp of coffee and off to work.
Have a blessed, uncluttered week my friends!
Lorene

Quiet time can sure make my mind run amok.
There are days I cant focus on one thing long enough to write about it.
During the day I think of all kinds of stuff I could have shared. I need to keep a notebook of those I guess.
Of course you are seeing the first draft. I don’t make sure the punctuation, spelling, or grammar is perfect. I type as I think. You are experiencing Lorene unfiltered.
I’ve been thinking about my childhood lately.
I don’t remember a lot, bits and pieces here and there. I’ve even thought about a hypnotist to help find what or why I cant remember. It could be my age, but it’s been like this forever.
I could always run for President, they would have a dossier on me pretty quick. 🤣🤣
In all seriousness, I have questions.
My mom would be the one to answer them, but she isn’t here anymore.
When I was young, I want to say between 8 and 12 years old, I would go to Key West during the summer and stay with my grandparents. I also remember a time I went to Tennessee and stayed with one of my moms sisters. My sister was 2 years younger than me, but she never went. Just me.
I don’t remember when I stopped going. I can barely remember how I got there. I seem to remember a Greyhound bus, but never a plane.
As an adult I wonder why my sister was never allowed to go, and was I just being sent away? I wasn’t a trouble child. I walked a pretty straight line when I was preteen. I would do anything to make my parents proud of me.
Still make decisions with them in mind.
There are so many holes in my memories they must look like swiss cheese. A part of me is afraid to know what I’m missing.
There are things that will trigger a memory. Kind of like when you see something, or someone says something that reminds you of the dream you had last night.
I remember somethings that I write about in private. Not on here, not yet. They seem more like dreams than memories. Some nightmares actually. Real or not I moved past them. Tucked them far away, covered them with good memories. They sneak out once in a while and I have to face them and then push them back again.
Don’t take this the wrong way, I had a great childhood. Two very loving parents. They taught me right from wrong. We were NOT the Cleaver family nor the Manson family, not perfect, but a family.
I never needed for anything.
I feel like I’m writing a book here now and my coffee cup is empty. I need much more to get this day going.
Thanks for reading, don’t hesitate to tell me any memories from my childhood you may remember, good or bad. PM me if its sensitive.
I love you all, friends, family and those who just need outside prayers. Have a wonderful day.
And yes, that’s me, the strawberry blond cutie with Mom, Dad and sister Angie.
Lorene