Lorene Mentality

Some days are challenging.
I wont say impossible because
tada!
I made it to today.
When I think out and plan the way I want my day to go, I forget there are other circumstances that can throw a wrench in it.

Over the years I have learned I do not have control over those times. Hard lesson, because I can be a control freak at times. I used to throw full fledged fits if things didn’t go my way. I know, that is so hard to believe unless we have been friends a long time, then you may have seen it.

I do have control of how I respond to such times. That is the key to surviving it mentally.
Don’t react
Respond

I guess life is all about interaction, good, bad or indifferent. Any one thing can change the course of the day. You have the power to sway it one way or another.

Wield that power!
Slay the day!
You got this!
Lorene

Good morning
I am getting ready for my last day of the work week. It’s been a challenging week. I wont go into detail and bore you, or entertain you depending on your outlook on life.

We will just celebrate today.
Not because its Friday, but because if you are reading this we woke up on the right side of the dirt.

Not everyone gets that privilege. I am fortunate to still be here. I plan on living a long healthy life. I have a different outlook on life and living now. It stems from the Event that happened June 1, 2018.

The day I died.

It was a Friday at the shop. Beautiful day, having a cocktail after work with Big Daddy and a friend when I started to feel bad. That’s the only word I could use to describe the feeling.
Bad
I knew something was wrong but couldn’t tell what. There was no pain, just a feeling.
Then it happened.
My face went white, lips blue. My eyes rolled back, my left arm pulled in tight to my body.
No heartbeat, pulse or breathing.
My friend was yelling for Troy and yelling my name. I could hear their voices, far away and muffled while I was in a white room.
At least I felt like it was a room. I could see nothing but white. No shapes, objects, not even my own hands.

Everything was a bright, Blinding white.

I was speaking with someone. Actually 2 someone’s. Just voices. I do not recall if they were Male or female. I like to think it was my mom and dad. Nor do I remember what we were talking about.
The entire time I could hear my name being yelled, behind me somewhere. I was trying to ignore it and focus on the voices before me.
I finally turned around and yelled “why are you yelling at me?”
That’s when my eyes opened. I was face to face with Troy and my friend, they were almost as white as the room I was just in.

Troy replied “because you died”

I laughed a bit and said ” yeah right, but I do think I peed myself.” When in actuality I had lost my bowels. After a quick shower at the shop they took me to the ER.

I wont go into details now, maybe one day I’ll write the entire story from beginning to end, if anything to document it for myself. But after almost a year of testing every organ in my body, brain, and even a heart cath, I am healthier than most women my age. No stroke, heart attack nothing.
No reason for what happened.
Just a quick visit to a beautiful place.
Quiet, peaceful, painless and comforting.

And a lesson.
This is not my last adventure.
There will be another. And although I’m not in any hurry to start that one, I’m not afraid .

Live each day like its your last.
Enjoy the smells, sounds and sights each day.
Take the time to sit and enjoy your solitude and surroundings. And of course that first cup of coffee.
And love.
Love big.
And be sure and the tell the people that have an impact on your life how you feel, they matter and make a difference.

Love you all, big dreams, big rewards!

Lorene

I’m sitting alone again this morning with my coffee. Sometimes I wonder what goes through some of your minds when I talk about a quiet, dark room. If you are a stranger do you wonder if I’m writing from my jail cell? Padded room? Closet?

I’ve had friends come over and ask, “ok, where’s this dark room you are always in?”
Its our living room, TV room, whatever you call it. I sit on the couch, pull my footstool up, place my coffee on it, (I don’t have a coffee table)and gather my thoughts.

I text with my early bird friends, send a few motivational texts, meditate, scroll Facebook and if something pops in my head to write about, I end up here.
Note this morning I really don’t have a subject. Just clearing out odds and ends in my head.

I have a 4 day week. I’ll cram 5 days of work into it believe me.
Friday will start a weekend retreat with friends.
I’ll be cooking, which soothes my soul and decompressing from 2019. There is beautiful scenery outside the cabin and beautiful souls inside.
The perfect combination for meditation and fellowship.
Oh, and there is coffee.
And a dark quiet room early in the morning where I can sit and enjoy the sounds and shuffle my thoughts.
Maybe even share them here.
Enjoy your Monday my friends.
Lorene

Good morning!
It is cold and wet outside but nice and warm in my little dark room, coffee warming my insides.
I’ve been seeing the “Get to know me” memes and lists where you fill in the blanks and swap secrets about yourself. I’ve played a few and they are fun. Good information for future reference if you want to surprise someone with a thoughtful gift.

It’s also good information for identity thieves when you post the answers to what is a normal security question like your first grade teachers name or favorite pet.

Be careful when posting those answers but have fun.
I decided to post a list of my answers to numerous questions I’ve seen.

Let’s start with food….always my favorite.

How do you like your…..
Steak: definitely a rib eye, rare to mid rare, well seasoned, no steak sauce. If I’m using steak sauce, the steak sucks.

Eggs: I’ve never met an egg I didn’t like. I prefer a running yolks, so over easy, sunny, poached are my favs on top of almost anything. But will savor a well made omelet filled with yummies that have been heated first and melted cheese. Best way to ruin an omelet, put cold fillings inside. Yuk

Coffee: fresh ground beans are best, you catch the aroma twice. I like it black, but if its bitter a splash of cream. Real cream.

Alchohol: I love a good margarita, top shelf of course. Vanilla or peach crown Neat. Great sipping whiskey to warm you up.

I could go on and on about food items. It’s my thing. Let’s see what else I like.

Superheroes: all of them! My office is covered in them. Iron man got me hooked, and no, Tony Stark is not my password.
Michael Keaton IS BATMAN. And I’ve wanted to be Wonder Woman since Lynda Carter was spinning around and lassoing bad guys. Then there is Aqua man. Jason, be still my beating heart. ❤❤

Books, I have no favorites. I try to read How to win friends and influence people once a year or so. I have over 100 cookbooks, imagine that. Stephen King, Dean Koontz, John Maxwell, I love motivational and self help. And journals. Blank pages just waiting for my thoughts. Sometimes it’s a recipe, poem, or just doodles.

Makeup: no, not really. I wear mascara. I have eyes that disappear behind my glasses. I didn’t wear makeup in school. Mainly because it costs money and that was not a priority for me. I focused on my skin and still do. I’ll put my face on for special occasions. It’s like the ultimate filter, I don’t use filters when I do a selfie. What you see is what you get. So applying make up is hard for me. I’m impressed with woman who can contour, shade, all that stuff and look like a beautiful China doll.

Dogs or Cats: as a child, we had both. Over the years I’ve developed a slight allergy to cats. I’m a fur momma. I love fur babies. We have our Maddie, she goes to work with Daddy and guards us from the evil delivery person or door knocker. She basically a glorified doorbell. But shes ours and a member of our family.

Wow, this is getting long and I’m out of coffee. Maybe more another day. Or if you want to know something, ask. If its it’s none of your business I’ll tell you. 😁😁

Have a great day and enjoy the things you love, try something new, you may love it too!

Lorene

Let’s talk about Love.
Love
You love your spouse, your children, your parents. You even love your dog. I bet you even love ice cream on a hot summer day.

So why don’t you love YOU?

The one person that is always there, talks to you, keeps your secrets, never leaves your side.

And you just find fault.

Too fat, too skinny, thick thighs, thin hair, frizzy hair, straight hair, curly hair, big butt, no butt, saggy breasts, wrinkles, gray hair, dead end job, no friends, fake friends, and the list can go on and on.

I want you to look in the mirror.
Take a good look at you.
You deserve all the love available and it starts with your own.
How can you expect others to love you when you do not.
Own every wrinkle, pound and bad hair day.
You are amazing.
You are one of a kind.
Unique
Perfect

I used to have a hard time loving my body. Diet pills, injections, no food, you know the drill. Every other commercial is about weight loss. You must be skinny to be perfect.

Well, I call BS on that.

I want to be healthy.
I don’t need to look like a Victoria Secrets model.
I have battle scars.
Extra weight and hips from carrying my children for 9 months.
Laugh lines around my eyes and mouth for the millions of times I smiled.
Love handles, reminding me I have someone who hangs on to me.
Glasses to help my eyes that are tired from seeing all the beautiful people, places and things I’ve seen over the years . They just need a little help.

I learned to love my body by being naked at home when I was alone. Hear me out.
It was uncomfortable at first. And I didn’t think it was a pretty site. But I would disrobe and watch TV, cook, clean, whatever.
Soon being nude was comfortable.
I was at ease with my so called imperfect body according to media standards.

I stand in front of the mirror and see the one person who loves me unconditionally. The one who never leaves me. The one who talks me down from the ledge or encourages me up the mountain.

I love me.

And it’s made me a totally different human being.

Self love, self care.

You are beautiful.
Don’t let anyone tell you any different.
Listen to that person in the mirror.

Lorene

One of my favorite phrases…

“You bring about what you speak about”

When I post in the mornings I try to be positive and motivating. Write something that may cause people to stop for just a second and ponder. Maybe convince someone they really do matter, contrary to the negativity they live with every day.

As I was scrolling thru my Facebook page, I am noticing more and more positive posts. Some from people that used to post about their worries and complaints.

I’m not saying I am the reason for that. What I am saying is I speak it and I see it coming back to me.

Reading positivity is a great way to start your day. I usually scroll past the gloom and doom. I do not need that negativity in my life and neither do you.

Turn it around and post in a positive way. It can be done!
For example, if you were laid off, yes that can be tragic. All you post is the negative side, harping on poor me, I don’t have a job, how will I pay the bills, it’s not fair….
You’ve seen the posts. And yes, you feel sorry for the person, and then you start thinking, wow, what if that happens to me….and negative thoughts start running rampant.

Its contagious!!!

Would you rather read that or…
New doors are opening for me today. After being laid off I am reaching for new opportunities! I am taking my experience to a new level and will find the perfect fit for me and my family. Send all your good vibes this way!

And guess what….
It will happen.
You bring about what you speak about.
So speak of joy, happiness and prosperity.
Speak of love, friendship and opportunity.

You will have a fabulous life! ❤
Lorene

It’s cold and wet outside.
It’s kind of chilly in the house too. Or maybe it’s just me. My coffee isn’t warming me fast enough.
A good day to stay home and under the covers.
One of those days you don’t want to face the real world.
A fall out of reality day.
Old movies and coffee type of day.
A fight with the fur baby over the warm spot day.
A ME day.
Everyone needs to take a me day once in a while.
Today is not that day for me. I have too much adulting to do. My days have to be planned out. It’s rare they are spontaneous.

I did have a great weekend with friends. I did what I love to do, cook for the masses.
It’s amazing how cooking for that many people isn’t exhausting, but exhilarating. I love making people smile after that first bite.
I made a Bistro Lorene Monte Cristo with a raspberry jalapeno dipping sauce. Brought back memories. And made new fans.

My Monday was the type of Monday people perceive Mondays to be. Walked into the Blue Screen of Death on my computer, on a day I use my computer the most. Little things that seem like big things for a second, until I take that deep breath and laugh before addressing them.
That works by the way, laughing at the problem seems to shrink it and put it into perspective.
Panic and stress can air that balloon up to the point of bursting.
So laugh.

Its past my quiet time and reality is beckoning me to put my big girl panties on and attack the day. Let’s pray the elastic stays in tact or may be showing my…
So Adult I must.
Have a fantabulous day, keep warm and dry.
Oh, and don’t forget to laugh.
Lorene

A lot of my friends I spent the weekend with have come down with the flu. I am still up. I’ve been tired more than normal so maybe my body has been fighting it off. I also drank an abundance of screwdrivers and mimosas. That’s a lot of vitamin C folks!

I experienced fire cupping. A way of pulling toxins and increasing blood flow to tense muscles. I have a picture if you’d like to see.
It was an experience, and I truly believe it helped. Of course my back looks like it was attacked by a giant squid. So no topless adventures for me for a while.

I am sleeping a bit more this week. My body is getting tired quicker than normal so I know it’s telling me to slow down and rest.
I am.
I’ve been curling up on one side of Big Daddy with Maddie on the other and out by 7 pm. I then get moved to the bed when they do.

I take my vitamins daily. Morning and evening with 10000 units of Vitamin D before bed. It helps stimulate my natural melatonin for good sleep. My B’s twice a day, need that energy especially now. And some others. My health is important to me. I have grand-babies to watch grow up and my children guiding them.

I think this turned into a how to avoid the flu post. Or why Lorene looks like she hasn’t slept in a week. Or reasons the flu is avoiding Lorene. Exciting read eh?

All in all it’s just a peek inside my head at what is roaming around at 5 am while I am sipping coffee in my dark, quiet room. It can be scary, confusing, motivating or deep on any given day.
I should say moment.
Asking me “a penny for your thoughts” could get you a one liner or chapter and verse.

I’m done. None of this is making sense and I’m trying to move on to another subject. Jeez, it’s too early, my brain is wide awake and my body is trying to catch up.

Have a great day! Avoid the flu! Take your vitamins.
Be well.
Lorene

I love my life.
Sure there are things about it that could be better.
More money, more time with family, more vacations, newer vehicle… I could go on and on. But if you notice, I have all those things, I could just use a different version.

So I am grateful.

I’ll keep working on improving the quality of what I do have, but never complain.
I wont give you the old….”well some people out there don’t have anything, so you should be thankful” speech.
Do you know why I wont?

Because I’ve been one of those people. And only I could change it.

I’ve made boxed mac and cheese without milk because I couldn’t afford any. Its disgusting by the way.

I’ve missed meals so my child wouldn’t.
Hunger is a great motivator.

I’ve missed holidays with family so I could earn money to pay the rent.

I’ve walked to work because I couldn’t make a car payment. I worked 2 jobs as a single mom to make ends meet. Sometimes they met, sometimes not. And Lord knows I never got them tied together til later in life.

I remember sleeping in a house so cold the dish water in the sink froze.

I’m grateful for what I have.
Not because others have less. But because I worked for what I have and I’m still working to better my quality of life.
I’ll never be shamed because I may have more than someone. I deserve what I have, good or bad.

Don’t think life is fair? Well guess what? It’s not. The fair is in September and you can get fried Oreos.

Don’t like the cards you are dealt?
Double down and try again.
All or nothing.
Go all in.

It’s your life, make it what you want. It wont happen over night unless you inherit a fortune or hit the lottery, but with gratitude and perseverance it will happen.
Imagine it
Want it
Work for it
Live it

Oh, and a good cup of coffee is a great start.
Be grateful my friends and don’t wait for someone else to build your life. Get out there and go for it.

Lorene

For the past few day my Facebook memories have been filled with the closing of the Bistro. One of the most heartbreaking things I’ve had to do.

I’m thankful and grateful I spent 3 years creating an atmosphere and menu that is still talked about today. Raising the bar for good food and service.
I’m proud.
Proud of my staff.
Proud of what I accomplished.
Proud of the legacy.

Yes, I’m boasting and bragging.
My heart and soul was on each and every plate I sent out of my kitchen.
I visited with my customers because I was proud of what went out. Face to face with them to see the experience myself.

I was afraid.
I cried while cooking my first rib eye for a paying customer, scared they would send it back.
I was worried people wouldn’t like my twist on the classics.
If they didn’t like it, they didn’t like me.
It was personal.

I wanted people to appreciate good food and expect it when they go out to dine. Anywhere.

Not just the Bistro.

Not many people get to experience their dream.
I did.
And even if I cry once in a while because it’s no more, the Bistro proved once again I can do anything. A 50 year old woman with a dream.

I made numerous friends.
I am so grateful.
The experience led me to yet another career.

Thank you again to all who put us on the map, and shared my dream. And of course to Troy Wood, the man behind the chef, whispering in my ear “you got this”.

No baby, I got YOU and that’s what fuels my fire.

Lorene