Author: Lorene

I haven’t shared this story on Facebook. It’s a condensed version. I kept the event to myself, I didn’t want to scare my children. I’ve just been playing it over in my head today and thought I would write it down. Eventually I shared with family and friends.

One year ago today I was enjoying a drink on the patio at the shop after work. The weather was nice, a friend was there having a beer and Troy was finishing up work.

I suddenly felt like I was going to pass out. And I did, for a split second. Troy thought I needed something to eat, I had eaten breakfast but not lunch. I grabbed some water and a bag of gardettos. Troy went to lock up so we could go to dinner.

Then it happened.
My body shut down. I slumped over, no pulse, no breathing, lost my bowels and was having an “other side” experience when I could hear Troy and Lakrisha yelling my name. I opened my eyes and asked why they were yelling at me.

They showered me, changed my clothes and took me to the ER.
No heart attack
No stroke
No answers
After a year of specialists I’ve learned there is nothing wrong with my brain, my heart is younger than most women my age, and my blood says I am perfectly healthy.

I did learn a few things.
People who love you can pull you out of anything.❤
I am allergic to MRI dye. 😮
Life doesn’t end here. There are people who meet you. I’m not sure where they take you, I left their white room too soon to find out.
There was no pain.
Much calmness
No fear

Most important, I learned that we don’t know when or where we will exit this world.
It wasn’t my time but I will live each day like it is the last. I suggest you do too.
Tell them you love them. Always, even when mad. Say each word like it is the last they will hear.

Lorene 2019

I love the quiet of the early morning. Sitting in the dark with my coffee, planning my day, a little meditation and listening to the sounds in the house.

The air conditioner kicks on. What a blessing for central heat and air. As a little girl we had the swamp cooler. I remember sleeping on the living room floor in the heat of the Oklahoma summer where it was just a tad cooler. I don’t know why I am such a heat wimp now. Spoiled I guess.

My 530 alarm just went off. On my phone, that’s not attached to a wall. I had a wind up clock with the big double ringer on top. That would wake you from the dead, no sleeping thru that. Now I’m lulled awake with music that gradually gets louder. Spoiled

I can hear Troy in the bedroom, a low growl of a snore. Comforting. A reminder he is sleeping the right bed. It’s hard to sleep without hearing him next to me. Spoiled

Blessings come in so many shapes, sizes and sounds. Take the time to enjoy them.

Stop.

Stay quiet and just listen.

Your life is reminding you just how spoiled you really are.
Don’t take it for granted.
Lorene 2019

This time of morning is so peaceful. I sit in the dark with a cup of coffee and listen to the sounds of my life.

A soft snore from the bedroom, thankful he wakes up in my bed. A dog tag jingle, I know she is keeping Troy’s feet safe.
The hum of the fan overhead, circulating the cool air from the air conditioner.

There was a time I had to spray water into the swamp cooler to keep my childhood home not so hot in the Oklahoma summer, then turning the hose on myself to cool down.
I hear an occasional truck speed past, that road has taken beloved fur babies from me.
The clunk of the ice machine. I remember a day I had to pull back a frozen aluminum lever to make cubes and get in trouble for not filling them back up.

Another sip of coffee. Not like my mom made when I was young, it was more dessert with sweetened milk and buttered toast to dip. I miss her. And that buttery coffee.

I see the outline of a huge television that I know receives more channels than I will watch in a lifetime with 3 remotes and a satellite connection. Very unlike that floor model with an antenna wrapped in foil that had 3 choices and cartoons only on Saturday morning.

I can see all the red, green and white lights from electronic devices glow in the dark. Hungry eyes stealing your time away from buttery coffee, water hoses and Saturday morning cartoons.

I had it all back then. Simple, clean, pure.

I have it all now. I just have to be sure not to lose it enjoying modern technology.

Excuse me while I go find a water hose.
Lorene Wood 2019

Trying to get my body back on its regular schedule. My eyes still pop open at 4 am. I think about the many jobs I’ve had over my work career and the shifts I had to work.

A “short shift” 6 pm to 9 pm at pizza hut, probably when I kicked Troy out for being an ass. Goodyear 8 hour shifts, 7 to 3, 3 to 11 and 11 to 7. That took some getting used to and then it changed to 12 hr rotating shifts. 7 to 7.

My schedule now is 8 to 4:30 Monday thru Friday. What used to be called bankers hours back in the day. I don’t know if I’ve actually worked that shift since I’ve been at the hospital. Early in, late to leave is the norm. And of course holidays, the hospital doesn’t close, and covering shifts.

Desk jobs, manual labor positions, this body has done it all. I guess I shouldn’t complain it automatically gets up ready to go. Some day it will revolt and say nope, not today!

Until then I will do my part to fund the government, lord knows Uncle Sam gets his share, and enjoy the many friendships I’ve made along the way.

A variety of careers and a variety of personalities. What a great tribe to have around me.
No matter the time of day, someone is pulling a shift, and I commend you on your dedication.
Well, I better get dressed for work, showing up naked has never been an option for me.
Yet.😉
Lorene Wood 2019

What’s on my mind? Facebook asks…I wonder what ads will follow with my answer. 😉

Hmmm, finishing my cup of coffee ☕with only the sound of the rain on the skylight, the feel of the blanket against my skin, soft and protecting me from the chill in the air.
The smell of fresh air and rain coming through the window. Clean, cool, cleansing.
The dull ache in my head, is it from the wine🍷 last night or lack of caffeine this morning.
Thoughts of laundry, small thoughts, no one will go naked soon.
Mentally preparing for the next month at work, 👩‍🍳earlier mornings than usual.

Am I feeling my age yet? Nope.
My chat about donuts 🍩, now craving one.
Last nights wine and pizza 🍕 party and wishing I had things cooked sooner, but hate serving cold food. I love feeding people.
Blessed for all who came and shared their time with me and meeting new people.
Missing some friends because of busy lives.

A sugar daddy would sure solve the next month at work. 🤑😉🤣 just saying.

My next cup of coffee.
Troy’s kiss goodbye this morning. The trace of water in his beard from washing his face.
How I love that man.

Asking me what’s on my mind when I’m alone in a quiet house makes you think. That’s not a bad thing. I’m grateful for it all.
Thank you all for sharing a bit of your time with me. ❤💛💜🖤

Lorene

Waiting for my coffee to cool a bit, I am scrolling through pictures on my phone.
I have thousands of them.
Some are ones I have taken, some screenshots, some I stole off the internet.

Grand babies, fur babies, recipes and food. Lots of food.
I have an entire folder of food.

I believe you eat with your eyes first. If it’s a beautiful plate, it will automatically taste 20% better. Sure food can taste good if it’s a brown mess on your plate, but a plate so gorgeous you can’t wait to dive in? That’s dining.
Even at home, make it a dining experience. Pour your OJ in a wine glass, eat your ham sandwich and chips on the good china.
You are worth it.
Take your time.
Enjoy.

At Bistro Lorene, I refused to have “baskets” for food. Your chicken salad sandwich was cut in half, placed on a glass plate, pickled okra on the side, your house made chips piled in the center. So what if it was just lunch, or you only had 30 minutes, it was a meal, an experience, nourishment to help you through the day.

I may be the only person on the planet that feels that way about food. Don’t get me wrong, I have eaten pizza out of the box, sampled dinner so much standing at the stove I am no longer hungry and I have snuggled on the couch with chips and slim Jim’s.

No matter, food is an experience.
Maybe I need to contract myself out as a restaurant consultant. Maybe not, I am too picky. 🤣😳 Troy calls me a food snob.

This entire post is just making me hungry. Lol. I’ll be home a few days after surgery Monday, maybe I’ll play in the kitchen again. I miss cooking for my Bistro friends.

Anyway, my mind is wandering to fresh farm eggs and grass fed butter….
Back to my coffee and the start of another day.
Food is life my friends! Experience it today, don’t just woof it down.
Savor each bite.

Savor each second

Later my friends,
Chef Lorene

An update on my Monday fiasco.
My youngest daughter, Chemae,  called it.

Gallbladder

After a hida scan, my doctor informed me that my gallbladder was working at 11%.
So, if you only pay 11% of your rent every month and make the landlord cringe with pain whenever you feel like it, you would definitely get evicted.
So guess what?

HE IS OUTTA HERE!!!

If my tonsils and appendix can be stellar renters, there is no reason my gallbladder can’t do the same.

I am a little disappointed it doesn’t weigh 50 lbs, that would be a nice benefit of its eviction. I have lost 6 lbs since Monday, so there’s that.

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know. Surgery is the 9th. Outpatient. I expect to bounce back quickly.
Just send good vibes as always!

Lorene

Yes….
Coffee and quiet this morning.

I’ve missed both the past two mornings due to tests first thing where I had to fast, to include water and coffee.
I did sleep an extra hour both days. It’s hard to sit and not sip coffee so early.
I survived.
I did notice I was a little off. A bit cranky. Less focused. Scatterbrained a bit.

So I believe my alone time is healthy.
For me and those around me.
That time to focus, plan my day, not hurry through the morning.
Loving my own company, meditating, journaling, praying, working on what makes me a better person.

If alone time is not something you do, you should try it.
Get up 15 minutes early.
Spend some quality time with that person that never leaves your side. Tell her how special she is, how beautiful, and how much you love her.
Remind her how she radiates joy, beauty, peace, wisdom and power.
Know that person is YOU.

You are the coach of your daily life. Give yourself that pep talk. Give yourself a pep rally. You are going to win this day! You have cheerleaders rooting for you.

Seems my morning time gets longer and longer. I used to sit 15 to 30 minutes, now it sometimes exceeds an hour.
I think I’m shifting my priorities. My inner beauty is more important than the outer. So if you see me in a ponytail, I swapped the time it takes to fix my hair for another quiet cup of coffee and pep talk.

I am so worth it!

Blessings my friends.
May this Friday be your best day yet.
Remember what you have to offer is greatly desired and brings a rich reward.

Lorene

Made it to yet another Monday.
They come so fast! You are leaving work on Friday, wake up Saturday, and poof!
Monday

And here I sit with my coffee in the dark.
I have a blanket over my shoulders, it’s a bit cool and the ceiling fan gave me goosebumps when I first sat down.

I have a lot of planning to do this morning, I have 4 days to make sure everything is lined up at work so no one has to scramble while I’m off for surgery.
I’m just a text away but I don’t want to stress my staff. I’m sure they will be rock stars while I’m gone. But I feel guilty leaving them.

I know I cant do everything by myself.
But I do put in the effort.
It’s hard for me to sit still.
It’s hard for me to except help at times too.

Depending on others is not easy for me.
I am getting much better at it than I used to be. Delegating some things at work, asking Troy for help at home, asking for help in general is a struggle for me.

I am still learning it is ok to ask for help.
It does not make you a weak person.
It actually makes you stronger.
A stronger leader, partner, friend.

Showing other others you trust them to help you sends them a message. A message of importance and trust.

You are reaching out to someone during a vulnerable moment.
This is also true when you are on the other side of that request. Being asked for help is an honor. Someone trusts you, believes you can do it and doesn’t worry about you failing.
You are reaching back out to them while helping.

Don’t think of asking for help as a weakness. Think of it as strengthening your relationships, building confidence in one another, and letting someone know you need them in your life.

Next week I may be reaching out for a little help, if I do, know it’s because I trust you will do your best and knock it out of the park.
And I don’t have to worry.

I’ll say please and thank you now, I dont know how my brain will do on the drugs. I may want to apologize in advance. 😳

May you have a blessed week, a beautiful Monday and I hope someone reaches out to you today and you learn how much they trust you.

Lorene

I have been surrounded by amazing people my entire life.

You hear a lot about my hubby. Big Daddy, Troy if that is more comfortable to say.
I’m not the only one that calls him that. He’s been a Daddy so to speak for many kids over the past years. A father figure for several. I would say amazing.

Of course there is my Mom. Orchid. As beautiful as the flower itself. A young woman in the 60’s that chose to keep me Although plans fell through and she would be a single parent. Made my life a good one. Chose the perfect man to help raise me. Taught me to cook and encouraged me to be able to take care of myself.
She too is amazing. God rest her soul.

My Daddy, Dudley. The man who accepted me as his own. I was a Daddy’s girl. To this day, before I make decisions I ask myself it would make my dad proud. As a pregnant 17 year I was scared. I was living on my own determined to be a great single mom. He was the one who packed my things and moved me back home. He said “you are not having this baby without me.” I knew I had disappointed him with my choices, but he was the proudest grandpa I’ve ever seen. Truly Amazing. God rest his soul, I lost him 5 months later.

My cousins, growing up together, they truly are your first best friends. Sharing time and secrets. Racing through childhood together.
Family holidays at the grandparents. Life puts time and space between us, but sharing on Facebook has made it possible to watch them and their families grow. Amazing

Childhood friends, you know the ones, they are considered family now.
The ones you haven’t seen or spoke with for 10 years and the day you do it seems like no time has passed.
I have friends that held my hand in that maternity ward, reassuring me I could do it.
Held me when my daddy died.
Babysat for me so I could work and not worry about daycare.
Loved me when I felt unlovable.
Married me and let me go, staying friends.
Remind me they are glad I’m a part of their lives.
Texts out of the blue, reminding me someone thinks about me.
Fed me pizza.
Took care of me after eye surgery when I was blind and drugged.
Told me I was beautiful.
I could go on. My friends are amazing.

Another man entered my life over 20 years ago. George. My biological father. He searched for me and then waited. Hoping someday I’d knock on his door.
A man I never knew existed. Another story I’ll save for later.
Sent me a sweet 16 birthday card and gift when I was in my 30s because he wasn’t there when I celebrated.
He is where I got my stubborn streak.
He gave me away when I married Troy.
He is the one who named me Lorene Marie.
He is amazing.

I could ramble all day telling you all the amazing people in my life. I’ll have to continue another time.
My children deserve a page to themselves.
It’s time to get moving and dressed for another day in paradise.
Go out and be amazing today!

Blessings my friends
Lorene