Month: April 2020

Another day in paradise.

Well, my paradise.

I wake up next to someone that loves me. He must if you know anything about me. I can be a little difficult at times. I call it independent. It’s taken a few decades to realize how relationships should be.

The joy of being with someone is you WANT to, not NEED to.

When I was young, it was find a nice boy, get married, have babies….well, I did all that backwards lol. I learned to take care of me and mine. The freedom that gives you is amazing.
You are more observant of how you are being treated, you don’t tolerate unhappiness for fear of being alone.

You like your own company.
When you choose a partner because you love their company and they compliment and complete you, not take care of you financially the difference is world changing.

Love yourself first. Respect who you are. Be self sufficient in all ways before inviting someone to share that with you.

Let them be your partner, supporter, cheerleader and lover. You be the same for them.
Life will be paradise.
Lorene 2019

Sitting in the dark again with my coffee, thinking about my last birthday. I turned 55 this month. I wonder where the time went. Jeez. Seems just yesterday I was running with high school buddies. 43 years of 55 I have worked, longer if you count mowing yards from 8 until 12 years old.

I constantly find things to do and learn. I’m afraid if I slow down I wont start back up.

Full time at the hospital, AFLAC Agent, instructor at the tech center (cooking classes) private chef….that’s just my paid positions now..

Shouldn’t I be thinking of retirement?
I do. But then what? Hmmmm
I’m tired, but not tired enough to quit.

Keeping busy keeps me young. My children are now in their 30’s and I have a grand daughter that is running with her high school buddies.

Life comes full circle.
And I am enjoying the ride.
Lorene 2019

I am only passing thru…

I’m not here forever, just a short visit, so please, tell me what you’d like me to know, spend time with me if you like, send a text, email.
I will do the same.

Let’s make memories you can talk about when I am no longer here.
My days are numbered, and though I don’t know the exact number, I’ll treat each day like it is my last.
I’ll eat dessert first, plan a family day, or a day of solitude. I’ll take that trip, buy those shoes, tell you I love you.

I’ll tell you I miss your face, I’ll surprise you with a visit, a fancy meal or a wink. I’ll leave you loving notes you can keep to remember me later. I’ll tell you that joke that will always remind you of me.

I’ll warm your heart with love and friendship, offer my time, my limited time, to show how much I care.
I am here for a short time. And each minute is precious. So if I share time with you, its special. Never a waste.

Know that your time is special to me and you have made an impact on my life. Our story is locked in my memories for me to enjoy for an eternity.

Enjoy now, today, because
I am only passing thru….
Lorene

Ever had a time you wish time would just stand still?

I’ve had several of those moments. This morning is one of them. Alone with my thoughts, cool air, darkness and coffee.

If time would just stop. Not forever, just a few hours. Maybe I could make all those decisions, reminisce about those gone before me, close my eyes and see their faces.

Enjoy my own company, write down my thoughts, snuggle my fur baby.
Have that extra cup of coffee, not on the go, But in the peace and quiet.

Sit in the dark and ponder life’s mysteries. Or maybe, just do nothing at all.
Let the cool dark room wrap itself around me and let me just be.

Reality beckons, time moves on. It was nice while it lasted. ❤
Lorene

The storm woke me up earlier, the sound of hail hitting my bedroom window.
The house is quiet now, dark except for an occasional flash of lightening. I can hear the sky growling a bit.

I love times like this.

Alone with my thoughts.
Decision making time at its finest, weighing out pros and cons, what makes me happy, sad, frustrated, proud.

The fork in the road sometimes has more than 2 tines.

It is supposed to rain all day. Washing away the brutal heat of summer. Cooling the earth and attitudes. Reminding us it always gets better. There is always relief in sight.

Take time to enjoy the wonders of nature. Use it to renew your excitement of life. New beginnings, adventures and lessons.
Lorene 2019

This morning is so quiet.

No thunder, no rain.

I always think cleansing, starting fresh when I listen to sound of a storm.
Crying is the same way.
When my body has been holding in all the stress, disappointments, pain for awhile, It will react with tears.

I usually feel better after a good cry.
Sometimes it will be a hard cry that brings the fur baby over to check on me, lick my face and let me know she is there for me.
It could possibly be what I call a work cry, brimming tears, where I look up, to keep them from falling.

It’s amazing how a little water can cleanse away so much. Dirty air, sore muscles, personal demons, anxiety, heart break, fear, anger, frustration….the list goes on.
From the day we are born to the day we die, tears help us start fresh. Washing away the clouds of feelings we hold in at that moment.

Crying isn’t just for babies. Crying is the best coping mechanism God gave us.
Even Jesus wept.

If you happen to catch me crying, I’m regrouping and starting fresh. Don’t be afraid to do the same.

I’ll even cry with you.
Lorene 2019

Another morning with my thoughts and coffee.

Thinking about the reasons I get up and go to work. The obvious is to buy the luxuries I so enjoy….gas, food, electricity.
But there is more to it than that.

Our work family.
We can spend more time with them than we do our families at home. We develop relationships, bonds.
We worry when they are sick and miss them when they are on vacation. We share lunch, stories, birthdays, promotions, births, holidays and once in a while a drink after work.
We become friends on social media, vent to each other or sometimes even have a safe space to just sit quietly and gather our thoughts.
There are those times we grieve together for the loss of one of our own. Work isn’t the same, a hole, a void that we must fill with good memories, laughter for the funny ones, and tears shed for our loss. A space filled with our lost work family that we can draw from strength to get thru a rough day long after they are gone.

Going to work isn’t just about making money. It’s making friendships, relationships that make life easier. Mondays become bearable because of the faces and smiles we know we will see.

Building a life worth living.

Enjoying life from sun up to sun down.
Work family, home family, family.
Lorene 2019

When I was 16. I had a different plan for my life.

I took an oath to the USN in the delayed entry program. My dream of being a lawyer would start in the Navy.
But life takes you down different roads and sometimes Divine intervention, I believe throws a road block down with a left or right option.
That fork in the road led to interesting travels. People I would never have met, Loved and learned. Daughters that molded me as much as I did them. If not more.

Opportunities that made me say, what the hell, I can do that.
My bag of tricks contained a high school diploma, work ethic, and my dad as my guardian angel.
Seems like that was enough.

Now, almost 40 years later, I find myself wanting more adventures. Like I’m 30 again. I must be crazy. But my girls are grown, grand babies are driving. Yes driving. And I’m seeing more forks in the road. The retirement exit is not an option, I have another 20 years of building my empire. At least.

So if you see me speeding by on the road of life, wave or jump in, buckle up. hang on and take an adventure with me, I’ll let you off at a rest stop if you cant hang 😁

I’ve come a long way but have so much farther to go!
I may never be that lawyer, and that’s ok. I am who I want to be.

Be who you want to be. Take that right instead of left. Challenge yourself. It’s amazing to see yourself transform.
❤❤

I haven’t shared this story on Facebook. It’s a condensed version. I kept the event to myself, I didn’t want to scare my children. I’ve just been playing it over in my head today and thought I would write it down. Eventually I shared with family and friends.

One year ago today I was enjoying a drink on the patio at the shop after work. The weather was nice, a friend was there having a beer and Troy was finishing up work.

I suddenly felt like I was going to pass out. And I did, for a split second. Troy thought I needed something to eat, I had eaten breakfast but not lunch. I grabbed some water and a bag of gardettos. Troy went to lock up so we could go to dinner.

Then it happened.
My body shut down. I slumped over, no pulse, no breathing, lost my bowels and was having an “other side” experience when I could hear Troy and Lakrisha yelling my name. I opened my eyes and asked why they were yelling at me.

They showered me, changed my clothes and took me to the ER.
No heart attack
No stroke
No answers
After a year of specialists I’ve learned there is nothing wrong with my brain, my heart is younger than most women my age, and my blood says I am perfectly healthy.

I did learn a few things.
People who love you can pull you out of anything.❤
I am allergic to MRI dye. 😮
Life doesn’t end here. There are people who meet you. I’m not sure where they take you, I left their white room too soon to find out.
There was no pain.
Much calmness
No fear

Most important, I learned that we don’t know when or where we will exit this world.
It wasn’t my time but I will live each day like it is the last. I suggest you do too.
Tell them you love them. Always, even when mad. Say each word like it is the last they will hear.

Lorene 2019

I love the quiet of the early morning. Sitting in the dark with my coffee, planning my day, a little meditation and listening to the sounds in the house.

The air conditioner kicks on. What a blessing for central heat and air. As a little girl we had the swamp cooler. I remember sleeping on the living room floor in the heat of the Oklahoma summer where it was just a tad cooler. I don’t know why I am such a heat wimp now. Spoiled I guess.

My 530 alarm just went off. On my phone, that’s not attached to a wall. I had a wind up clock with the big double ringer on top. That would wake you from the dead, no sleeping thru that. Now I’m lulled awake with music that gradually gets louder. Spoiled

I can hear Troy in the bedroom, a low growl of a snore. Comforting. A reminder he is sleeping the right bed. It’s hard to sleep without hearing him next to me. Spoiled

Blessings come in so many shapes, sizes and sounds. Take the time to enjoy them.

Stop.

Stay quiet and just listen.

Your life is reminding you just how spoiled you really are.
Don’t take it for granted.
Lorene 2019