Month: August 2020

Time
Its a precious thing the youth waste and the old beg for more.

We are all allotted time.
No one knows when our ration will end.
It can not be bought.
Nor can it be sold.
It can be stolen from us, but not used by the thief.
Our time will simple vanish.
It is as valuable as the air we breathe.
Once it passes, it becomes memory.
The time itself gone forever.

As personal and valued as it is, it can be shared.
But only simultaneously.
We can not share our time to extend another’s.
We can share our time to make life better.

The most precious thing you can share with someone is your time.
When someone shares with you, remember there is no rewind button. The choice to spend this moment with you is a nonrefundable gift.

I appreciate when my friends and family spend time with me. I log each minute in my memory to enjoy over and over again.
I know how few seconds we have in a lifetime, and knowing you made the choice to share some with me, humbles me and honors me.

I never waste my time with people.
If I share my time with you, you are important to me.
Time marches on.
It stops for no one.
The next hour may contain my last breath.
Or yours.
So I will live for this one.

Don’t waste a minute with anger or hate. It will consume all your happy moments left.
Fix what you can, accept what you can not.

You don’t know if you have the time to heal all wounds.
Do that now.
You may not have time later to apologize.
Do that now.
Say I love you today, the sun may not come out tomorrow.
Do it now.

I love my time with you in the mornings. Putting down my thoughts. Hoping they will stand the strength of time.

Love big my friends.
Lorene

Early mornings all week. Decided to stop getting ready for work and enjoy a cup of coffee in the dark cool TV room. I miss opening the Bistro and my coffee time at the bar, in the dark watching out the front doors.

Almost a meditation time for me. I should do it daily but feel getting to work early should be the norm, not flying in at a minute to 8.

Early is on time. On time is late. And late is unacceptable.

But that is the leader in me. I wish everyone took pride in what they do, ownership of their positions. You cant teach work ethic. You have to lead by example.

My thoughts wandered. This was about alone time. In the quiet with only my thoughts.
What can I do to improve my position?
What can I do to excel?
One quiet cup of coffee, in a dark cool room can slow things down enough to help gather my thoughts.
I cant be everything for everyone, but I can be loyal to me, my own cheerleader, motivator when needed. Do what makes me happy, go where I’m most appreciated.
Cup is empty.
Time to get ready for the day.
Be loyal to you.
Be happy.
Be the best at what you do.
Surround yourself with positive people. It makes a world of difference, I promise.
Take the time it takes to drink a cup of coffee to just enjoy your own company.
Lorene…..

3 weeks ago today, according to my husband and brother in law, I became an official redneck.
I fell INTO a pontoon boat.

The pictures below are a progression of my healing. The first taken when I started the day. The last was taken this morning.

My accident was purely my doing.
A mix of peach crown, new glasses, heat, age and lack of experience traveling the boat ladder.

Those of you that know me well, know I do not swim. I have been working on my fear of water on weekends with friends. And I am sensitive to the heat of summer.
However, the cool water kept the heat at bay and was enjoyable. Rarely was I in water over my head, and if I was I had a life jacket or flotation device with friends close by.

I had been sipping peach crown, but neglected to drink my water that day. Also a factor.
I did not feel drunk, but the concussion erased all memory from my time being in the water to waking on the boat surrounded by my guardian angels.
I do not remember attempting the ladder or the fall itself.
Which I am ok with. Best not to remember.
But I did learn a few things.

God works in mysterious ways.

I have asked myself the “what if” questions.

What if I had fallen backwards into the water?
I could have drowned.
What if I had lost an eye, finger or broken my nose?
Disfigurement for life.
What if I had broken my neck?
Paralysis or even death.
And worse, what if I had not felt drunk, tried to drive home and wrecked?
My death and worse, possibly others.
Not to mention the emotional feelings my friends at the lake would have endured.

There were so many life lessons learned the past 3 weeks.
I know God has a plan for me.
Maybe I haven’t figured it out yet, he is throwing clues out to me.
I’ve died and come back, this accident, what next?
I’ve been praying and doing some soul searching to figure it out.
Life coach?
Mentor?
I don’t know, it will come to me.

I was blessed to heal quickly.
Less than 48 hours later I was back to work doing what I do. A bit slower and foggy brained, but there.
Stitches and all.
I even went back to the lake the next weekend, got in the water, and conquered that ladder. My friends did make sure I had a spotter. HAHA, I love those guys. ❤

I learned I was not as vain as I thought I was. I still can’t go to Walmart in my pajamas, but I don’t worry about what people think of my face.

My husband still loves this face and worried about me. He tried not to show it with his humor, but I saw the fear in his eyes.
Once, and only once, he said to me softly, while I was snuggled in his arms, “please, don’t do anything like this again”
That was the loudest I love you, I have ever heard.

I will have a few new scars.
I am good with that.
I am blessed I was the only one hurt and the only thing I killed was the Buzz my friends were enjoying.
(Sorry about that guys, I did leave the cornbread for you!)

Thank you to all that took care of me, before, during and after.
You are the Rockstars!

Thank you to all that worried.
All the prayers and good vibes, I have been blessed.
Keep them coming.
I never turn them down, I will take them all.

I love you all Big!
Lorene

Its quiet.
My happy coffee is hot.
I can hear the air conditioner and Maddie’s dog tag jingling when she rearranges herself in the bed.
I’m sure she just moved into my warm spot.
Snuggled up to Big Daddy.
I haven’t shaved my legs in a week, so he may not realize it’s not me. #locksoflove

It’s a wonderful feeling when someone loves you unconditionally. I can be a hard pill to swallow at times.
I try to keep kindness in the forefront and my personal pain hidden. We are all stressed and going through something at one time or another, no reason to spread hurt or pain.

If I do snap, I try to be quick to apologize.
I am human, Contrary to popular belief. I have a heart that pumps blood, not ice water. I know this for fact, my heart doctor has been inside with a camera to make sure for me.

I have feelings that get hurt. You may never know if you did it, however I have been known to tell some people I care about “you hurt me”. If they care, their actions or words won’t repeat. But at least I know I spoke up and if it happens again I can reevaluate that person’s position in my life.

I won’t keep people in my circle that deliberately hurt me. I don’t care who they are.
And you shouldn’t either.

I am responsible for my happiness.
No one can make me happy unless I am a willing participant.
I choose who I let in my life and who I shut the door on.
Sometimes with a deadbolt.

With any luck and the grace of God. I have another 45 years or so left on this planet.
Yes. I plan on living to be 100.
And those 45 years will be spent being happy and living life based on all the lessons learned in the past 56 years.
And there have been a lot!

The most important lesson is I’ve learned to love me.
I thought I needed the love of someone else to be happy. I reached out, some good some bad decisions. Some I try to wipe from my memory.
The feel of someone’s arms around me made me feel needed and wanted.
As I learned to love me, I realized that was all a facade, fake. A blanket wrapped around me of false feelings and hope.

No one can love me like I love me.
Its different.
Its a revelation.
It makes me demand a more pure love from the people I hold close.

It was a long road to get here, but I am.
Attitude and all.
And because I love me, I can allow others to also.
And when I love others,
Its big.

Love big my friends and start with you.
Lorene

My goodness, I’ve been assigned Mount Everest.
I am trying and someone or something seems to be on top rolling boulders down on me.
Well, whoever or whatever force, listen up.

This is not the day and I am not the one!

I do not admit defeat. I do not quit.
I will tunnel straight through if that’s what it takes to get to the other side.
I have age, experience and wisdom on my side. You may as well pack your bags and head out.
Nothing to see here.
My support group is better than yours.
So you are merely wasting your and my time.

We all have mountains to climb and some times bridges to burn.
We can’t do it alone.
Use your support system.
Call on your God to intervene.
Mine has a mighty sword and a great sense of humor.
Both get me through.
Lean on your friends. Mentally or even physically at times and be there for them when they need a shoulder.

And this too shall pass.
It always does.
Sometimes it sticks around longer than others. It may feel like a lifetime, but its not.
Keep positive.
Speak positive.
Pick up that shovel and dig your way up or through.

Don’t worry about your Big Girl Panties, Go Commando if you must! My elastic broke a long time ago and I do show my, well that’s another story.

Just remember, you are not in this alone.
Fight.
It is worth it.
I promise.

Love Big
Lorene

Today I am 56.
No shame in my game.

I tend to celebrate my birthday all month long. One day just isn’t long enough to celebrate a life as fortunate as mine.

Today is THE day.
I was born on a Tuesday, not sure what time. I only know that because of some internet thing some time ago had a calendar for the years.
Ironic today is Tuesday. Something special must be on the way.

I am a little surprised I made it this far. I never thought I’d make it past 40. The men in my family seemed to leave this world about that age, I figured it was genetic.

Yet, here I am.
With children
Grand children
Driving grand kids at that!
Alive and kicking like a 20 year old.
OK, maybe 30 or 35, but still kicking.

It seems I’m invited to more funerals than weddings. I guess that comes with age.
My memory isn’t what I’d like it to be.
But here and there something will trigger a long lost memory, something from my childhood or teen years.
They can make me laugh, cry or raise my eyebrows in disbelief.
I was living life like it would end at 40.

But isn’t that how we should live?
Like there is no tomorrow?
That doesn’t mean go on a bank robbing then shopping spree.
Maybe what I mean is
Love like there is no tomorrow.

Tell people what they mean to you.
I love you
I need you
You are important to me
I miss your face
You make my life worth living
You are special to me
You will always hold a place in my heart
I love that you are my friend
I love waking up to you

Get the point?
How do you feel when people say those things to you?
Exactly.

And how hard and long does it take to convey what you feel.
A heartbeat 💓

Guess getting older does make you wiser.
Wiser to what makes you happy.
Celebrate each birthday you are blessed with.
Some are not so fortunate.
And remember to love like there’s no tomorrow and
Love big,

Lorene

August.
Chapter 8 of 2020.

It is usually the hottest most miserable month of the year. Yet so far, it has seemed more like the end of September. Beautiful cool mornings and evenings. Bearable days with a breeze.

Mother nature’s sympathy maybe?
A way of apologizing for the first 7 months.
Not that what has been happening has been her fault, but all mothers try to comfort their children.

We all could use some arms around us, letting us know it will all be OK soon. A cosmic blanket of hope and love. A moment where time stands still, all is perfect and it is OK to close our eyes and let our guard down.

No more war scenes on the nightly news, scenes in our own yard, our people pushing against each other instead of pulling together.
Forgetting that United We Stand, Divided We Fall.
No more friendships broken because of differences in beliefs.
No more divided families.
No more businesses burnt to the ground.
No more illness.
No more violence.
No more chaos.
No more US and WE against YOU and THEM.
No more tears for the losses we all have endured.

Instead,
More unity
More love
More understanding
More compassion
More health and prosperity
More growth as a nation and people
More compromise.
More order
More listening with less talking.

A perfect world.
Does it exist?
We can’t board a ship and fly to the unknown and find it.
We have to create it here.
With what we have.
Together.
And that is where we blunder.

Together can be easy if we sit at the table and talk.
Open our minds and hearts.
We all want the same thing actually, we just don’t know how to get there.
My way or the highway.
Because I said so.
This way or else.

I can’t stress enough,
Communication
And Lord knows, we have to
Love Big,

Lorene

This body.
Next month will be 56 years young.
I was good to keep my scars at a minimum til this year.
Gallbladder quit on me and so did my balance.
8 scars and numerous stitches later, I am still standing.
And that’s just 2020!

Scars are merely a “pull over and check out the memorial marker” on the highway of life.

My first was a scar from falling chin first into a coffee table at 2.
Vaccine.
Bout with Chicken pox.
Baton end into the calf.
Hot iron on top of my foot.
2 C-sections.
Chef knife incident.
2 neck surgeries.
Gallbladder removal.
And my latest and greatest, 3 at one time, 11 stitches in the face….face first into a boat!
My shining moment! 🤣🤣
I may have more but can’t recall them at this moment.

There are some you can not see.
Broken dreams, heart, promises, relationships.
All leave scars as a memorial to what was and the lessons learned.
I don’t want to hide my scars.
They are a part of my history.
They are me.

Every once in a while, I revisit those mile markers, sometimes I cry, sometimes I laugh.

I think about how my guardian angel must get hazard pay, and well deserved.
Oh but the stories she tells!

Embrace your history.
Learn what not to repeat.
You are building a wonderful life and a unique you.

Keep loving big!
Lorene