It’s hard to believe you have been gone 13 years.
I wish I could have done more to make your life happier and easier.
I remember rubbing lotion on your feet in the hospital. Your diabetes took a toll on your skin. I wanted to make you as comfortable as possible.
You kept telling me I didn’t have to, but I wanted to, not to mention you couldn’t see the tears on my face.
They let me sit with you after you left this earth. I held your hand and told you all the things I should have through out the years. I never wanted to burden you with my problems, I wanted to always be the strong one for you.
In all actuality, you were my rock.
You had me alone in a time that it was unacceptable to have a child out of wedlock.
You protected me and help provide me with a wonderful life.
I never needed for anything until now.
Now, i just need more time.
More time to talk with you over coffee, listen to the gripes about your day, your aches and pains, who was acting like an idiot this week.
Sit at your table and smell the wonderful aromas of what you had cooking that day. Learn your tamale recipe. Help you wrap and tie dozens upon dozens of them.
More time to brag about my kids and grandkids.
Bring them to visit Little Grandma and watch you let them get away with things I got the wooden spoon across my backside for doing.
I know you’re watching Mom. I try to make you proud for keeping me, for not letting shame change your love for me.
For making me the woman I am today.
I miss you.
I love you.
Lorene
