Lorene Mentality

It’s hard to believe you have been gone 13 years.
I wish I could have done more to make your life happier and easier.
I remember rubbing lotion on your feet in the hospital. Your diabetes took a toll on your skin. I wanted to make you as comfortable as possible.
You kept telling me I didn’t have to, but I wanted to, not to mention you couldn’t see the tears on my face.
They let me sit with you after you left this earth. I held your hand and told you all the things I should have through out the years. I never wanted to burden you with my problems, I wanted to always be the strong one for you.
In all actuality, you were my rock.
You had me alone in a time that it was unacceptable to have a child out of wedlock.
You protected me and help provide me with a wonderful life.
I never needed for anything until now.
Now, i just need more time.
More time to talk with you over coffee, listen to the gripes about your day, your aches and pains, who was acting like an idiot this week.
Sit at your table and smell the wonderful aromas of what you had cooking that day. Learn your tamale recipe. Help you wrap and tie dozens upon dozens of them.
More time to brag about my kids and grandkids.
Bring them to visit Little Grandma and watch you let them get away with things I got the wooden spoon across my backside for doing.
I know you’re watching Mom. I try to make you proud for keeping me, for not letting shame change your love for me.
For making me the woman I am today.
I miss you.
I love you.
Lorene

Tis the season.
A time of giving, which usually makes you a receiver at times also.
At one time or another, we have all searched for that perfect gift. The one that will light up the face of the one you are bestowing it upon. You want to see the smiles, laughs, change of emotions and the hugs of Gratitude.
It feels good to share happiness.
What if I told you, the perfect gift wasn’t at Walmart, Coach, Pottery Barn or the Apple store?
And get the price tag…
$0.00
I didn’t make a mistake,
FREE, ZILCH, NADA. NO COST
there’s not even a line to stand in, you don’t have to camp out the night before, or even pay postage for delivery.
See?
PERFECT
The absolute best thing about this gift is, you have it with you wherever you go.
No. Its not the lint in your pocket, although that would make a weird Dirty Santa gift.
Have you guessed it yet?
Think about what truly matters to you.
I’ll wait…..
Ok, here it is….
TIME
Time is our most precious gift. A limited supply is given to us and we don’t know how much we have, so its tricky.
If we wait too long to share it, it may be too late.
It can never be regifted or exchanged.
The gift of time is magical.
Once it is used up, to turns itself into a memory.
Cool huh?
And memories last forever.
And here’s the best part.
Its a gift to yourself too!
Boom!
Double the pleasure, double the fun!
Its like BOGO at a shoe store!
Don’t wait until the holiday season to share your perfect gift.
Never waste an opportunity to gift memories and never turn down the gift of time from your tribe.
It is truly the gift you will regret refusing.
Slow down, the perfect gift in already in your hands. Enjoy!
And don’t forget to love big.
Lorene

Saturdays, what a great way to start the weekend.
You can sleep in if you like. My internal clock doesn’t let me most of the time.
So I will sip my coffee in my quiet, dark living room and listen to house sounds.
I’ll text with friends that are early birds or getting ready for work. That’s always a great way to start the day, with friends.
I’m attending a Christmas party today, where I will get to see friends I haven’t in a few months, and meet new friends and spouses.
A few hours of adult socializing.
No work.
No worries.
Just hugs, kisses, laughter and being around people who think just like me.
It feeds the soul.
Don’t wait for the holidays to have get togethers with friends.
Friends are chosen. We aren’t born into them like family, though some seem like a part of your family.
Friends are unique.
You chose them, they chose you.
How much more special is that?
Be the friend you expect to have.
Remember, they chose you for a reason.
Celebrate your friendship on a daily basis, don’t wait for a special occasion, or a funeral.
Celebrate now.
Love you my friends!
Here’s to us!☕
Lorene

I am 55 years young.
I’m not the weight listed next to my height on the chart. I’d look like death warmed over if I was. I haven’t been that size since I escaped the womb for Pete sake.
I got out of the shower and was drying off, whoever decided a large mirror in the bathroom was a good idea had to have been drunk.
I normally don’t pay too much attention to it when I’m nude. For some reason this time, the reflection caught my eye.
I stood there looking myself up and down.
My physical eye saw where gravity had taken its toll.
Perky can now only describe my personality after a pot of coffee.
The pink scar from my belly button down, a reminder of the 2 beautiful babies I carried for months. The only true time in their lives that I would be the only one that could shield them from the bad in the world.
Throughout my hips and tummy are lines. A pattern of stripes where my skin stretched to make way for the temporary home I needed to provide for my children. Leaving memory marks taking me back to the 80’s, the 2 times my body was perfect
They remind me of tiger stripes.
A time in my life I was fierce and protective of my Cubs.
I used to dislike them, now I want to tattoo them and make them bolder as a statement of my best accomplishments.
Not a participation ribbon, but my grand champion trophies.
I am proud of them.
I don’t have a six pack, well if I do its behind this pony keg. It’s not that bad, I could model, it may be for the farmers almanac but hey, we all fit in somewhere.
These thighs. Eh, I own them.
I have a scar on my hip where bone was taken to put in my neck, another scar. I tell people the neck scar was a bar fight. Sounds better.
Under the end of my chin is a faint mark where I had stitches. My mother said I tripped over my cousins truck in the floor when I was two and met the edge of the coffee table.
My left thumb had stitches, a reminder I was a chef of my own restaurant but looked away for a split second while sharpening my chef’s knife.
On the top of my foot is a burn scar. Iron fell from the ironing board and landed on the top of my foot. Mom smeared mayonnaise on it to cool it down.
I have plenty of marks on this body, the mirror only shows what the eye can see.
Other scars are hidden inside.
Broken hearts, hurt feelings, bruised ego.
And so much more.
I own each and every scar I have.
It’s the roadmap of my life.
Showing what I’ve survived the past 5 decades.
I’m comfortable in my skin. You should be too. It’s what holds all your adventures and memories together.
Rawr!
Lorene

This morning is quieter than normal.
I can barely hear the hum of the fan coming from the bedroom.
Yes, we are those people that have a fan running 24/7/365. We also have the window open in winter while snuggled under thick blankets except for one foot.
My coffee is smoother and more relaxing too.
Today should be a fairly smooth day. The one day this week without a catering, meeting, or filling in for someone that is out.
I have plenty of paperwork, but I’ll dive into that first thing.
I kind of like that my days aren’t mundane. How boring to not mix it up a bit. Who wants to live a real ground hog day.
A surprise here and there keeps me on my toes. Makes me look at life from different angles. I think it helps keep me young.
I believe I would age so much faster if I just slept, worked and ate. What a boring existence.
I tried that for a few years, went totally gray, worked 10 and 12 hour days, took care of my responsibilities but didn’t enjoy the freedom of being able to just have fun.
I’ve worked since I was 8, pushing a mower and I’ll continue to work because I enjoy being a part of something bigger than myself.
I have added in some spice.
No more gray. Though beautiful on some and easier to maintain, it did not reflect my inner Lorene, RED has ways been my color and attitude.
I get my nails done and toes! For me. It makes me feel good.
I volunteer, give my time to a cause I believe in.
I socialize.
This is big as you make those trips around the sun.
Dinner with friends, cards, dominoes, get togethers with people who think like you and share thoughts and ideas.
Journaling.
You get a taste of this almost on a daily basis from me and I’m grateful to read and share my thoughts.
I’ve kept journals where I’ve written down my thoughts. Thoughts I don’t want to share but need to see.
Electronic journaling lets me share thoughts with others. A way of sharing who I am.
Thoughts that year after year will pop up on my memories and remind me how much I’ve grown.
Getting older doesn’t have to he boring.
Add some spice.
It can be as mild as a pinch or salt or as daring and bold as habanero.
Just don’t grow old and bland.
Be the life of your own party!
Lorene

Well poo.
Its Monday.
After being off for the holidays I’ve come to the conclusion I should have been born rich.
It had been a long while since I had days off more than a weekend.
At first it was kind of strange, every day I did not get dressed for work seemed like a Saturday. Threw my whole internal clock off. Even Maddie was confused. She has a routine of going to work with Daddy Monday thru Friday and I leave before they get out of bed.
I’ve spent more time with Troy these past 5 days than in the past 5 months.
We didn’t kill each other.
We didn’t clean house.
We snuggled.
A lot
We were just here.
Together.
Absorbing each others energy.
Reconnecting.
That’s important for any relationship.
Time
I even feel that Maddie likes me a little more than usual.
The time you spend reading my thoughts bring you a little closer to me.
Like it or not.
I doubt anyone will ever understand me, therapists have tried and failed, hell, I’ve tried and failed.
But reading what’s in my thoughts can give you a snippet of me. The more time you spend reading me, the more you’ll know me.
Warning…
I am not perfect, (gasp)
I make mistakes.
I’m human.
Blood runs thru my veins. (Contrary to popular belief it is ice water)
I use social media as a journaling tool. As you can tell, if you follow me, I love animals and food. I also worry about missing persons.
And I love to laugh.
I think I’ve lost my train of thought this morning. And I’m rambling, so I’ll wrap this up and not take much more of your time.
I’d be in bed if I’d been born rich, but alas it was not in the stars.
My bank account is not full, but my life is about as rich as they come.
I have time for one more cup before I tackle the new week.
Cheers ☕ my friends.
Enjoy your time.
Lorene

December 2020
Seems it snuck up fast, although the year seemed a century long to some.
In this season of my life any day is too short. The more that fly by, the fewer I have left.
Maybe thats why 2020 hadn’t affected me like some. Its another year I have in this world.
There have been some times that have been inconvenient but then I had days like that in 1982, 1983, 2006….
There will always be times that aren’t easy.
Welcome to life.
I learn from every challenge.
I also get stronger.
I will continue to be a student, learning from history, planning my future, and living my best life today.
No one or no thing will ever steal my joy.
I will share what wisdom I accumulate along the way, to help those that stumble over the same barriers as I.
I will collect the rocks thrown at me and build my castle even stronger.
I will stand firm in my beliefs, use them as a guide and never comply with what is popular at the time if it is not what I practice.
I will remain true to me.
I will love big and laugh loud.
When it is my time to take my final breath, I will do so knowing I made a difference. My life’s best memories will play like a double feature with hot buttered popcorn.
No thoughts of 2020 or any other year people deemed terrible.
No thoughts of the struggles or sacrifices.
Just the beauty I was blessed to see.
My children.
My grandchildren.
Life partner.
Fur babies.
Family.
Friends.
Each and everything and everyone that made me smile and feel love and comfort.
During my quiet coffee time, I do just that.
Remind myself what a wonderful life I truly have.
Not a Hallmark Christmas story, but damn close.
Happy December my friends.
Love big
Lorene

Another early morning covering a shift.
I love the quiet.
Staff decorated the dining area for Christmas. My window view is still the parking lot. Its cold and still outside.
I am sipping my coffee while my equipment heats up. The scariest drinking game is to see how long Lorene can go without coffee.
The Monday after a holiday weekend.
Will people still be in the thankful mode? Or will they flip that switch back to moaning and groaning its Monday?
Some people amaze me. And not in a good way.
How they spend their lives miserable, by choice, feed off drama and try to pull everyone down with them. Misery loves company.
No wonder they say its lonely at the top.
Its easy to get pulled down. First you feel sorry for them, then you think about your own life, and what isn’t going your way. Soon, its someone or something that is keeping you from being happy. Not your fault so there is nothing you can do but be miserable and weep in your Wheaties.
You make your own happiness.
So do it.
Focus on the good happening in your life and manifest more!
You bring about what you speak about.
Have a bad 5 minutes, not a bad day.
Smile.
Even if you are alone.
Smiling changes your entire attitude. Giving and receiving.
When someone brings that dark cloud of doom and gloom your way, attack back with sunshine and good tidings. Deflect the moans and rumors with what great happened today. Smile!
If you deny attention to it, it will fade away.
😁 have a wonderful Monday!
Love big!
Lorene

Spent a few hours at work today to make sure my staff had what that needed.
Thankful for my career and staff.
Came home to the football game on the big screen and Big Daddy and Maddie chillin’ while laundry is going.
Thankful for a home, some finer things life has to offer, a good man, his faithful dog, clothes on my back.
Rummaged the cabinets and fridge to put together a small Thanksgiving meal, argued about recipes, kissed and hugged, let him have his way with the dressing.
Thankful for food, a stove to cook on, electricity, an awesome relationship, a man who loves to help cook.
Thankful our children have families of their own, starting their own traditions, starting their families, making their way.
Everyday should be a day of love and gratitude. If you don’t appreciate what you have, why would you appreciate more?
Happy Thanksgiving my family and friends!

Happy Thanksgiving.
Today isn’t a day of celebrating pilgrims having dinner with Native Americans.
It is a day of Giving Thanks.
A day of Gratitude.
Thanksgiving is a word of action.
Giving not Getting.
Today is the day most people voice what they are thankful for, usually around the table. Out loud for the world to hear. Some are short and sweet, family, food or grandma’s divinity fudge.
Some people have a list to share, adding in God and Country.
We all are thankful for something.
So why hold it all in until today?
Why can’t everyday be a day of Thanksgiving. Its not about the turkey and giblets gravy, sweet potatoes or pumpkin pie.
Its about gratitude.
We should start every morning saying for what we are thankful. Whether in a prayer, to the person in the mirror or just outloud for all to hear.
Remind yourself and others whatever we have, whether a mansion on a hill or a double wide in the country, we are blessed.
Clean air and water, friends, family, a fresh apple off a tree, a snoozing puppy up against you, an ice cold beer with friends or a cup of hot coffee alone.
Be thankful.
Gratitude for what you already have.
What you have today, you prayed for yesterday.
Gratitude is a continuous process.
That first breath in the morning.
Each new day.
Living your best life.
Remember to be thankful out loud not just once a year, but every day you walk your path.
The more gratitude you have, the more you will be blessed.
Thank you for reading my thoughts and sharing them with your friends and family.
I appreciate each and every comment. My heart swells with every thumbs up or heart.
I am grateful I can make a difference in your lives.
Not just today. But every day.
I love you all, big!
Lorene