Month: April 2020

There are so many Veterans I know personally, friends, family, too many to name.

Thank you.

Thank you for protecting my rights, freedom and the land I call home.

Thank you for making that choice to put yourself in harm’s way if needed.
For putting your life on the line for my fundamental rights.

For protecting even those of us that don’t understand that freedom isn’t free.

One day of honor isn’t enough.

Bless you all.
May God protect you and guide you.
Lorene

In Lorene mode….

Dark, cool room. Hot coffee and my thoughts.

Those of you that know me know that can be a dangerous thing.
It’s probably best I don’t write down every thought I have. Some are only accessed when I roll my eyes and see them tucked way up there in the corner where they should stay.
Lord knows they try to creep down to my tongue but I do still have a filter, even as frail as it’s become.
Every once in a while they make it out but my muffler catches them and they come out as a mumble, usually as I’m walking away.

It happens to everyone.
I’m just talking to myself…..
True to a point.
I’m telling myself to shut up, keep it to yourself, go write it on a piece of paper and burn it.
Poof! Up in smoke, no hurt feelings, no job loss, no jail time.
Words can cut, Dice and slice more than a chef’s knife.
And they linger.

Good or bad.
They make a scar, a mark forever.
I never took track because my dad once said I ran like a girl. Over 40 years later, I remember that. I believed him.
I don’t run.

If I do, you better too because something bad is behind me.
I don’t think he meant to leave such a negative mark on me. It may have been the family really couldn’t afford for me to participate in a sport. He could have just been joking.

There are things I’ve said to people I love that I wish I could erase. Remove the scar tissue I left behind.
With age does come wisdom. I think more before I speak.
My HR department appreciates that. 😁

I want to leave a good mark on people.
I want people to be glad they met me, look fondly back and tell how I influenced them, made them feel special, treated them kindly.

Some of you read my words daily. I appreciate you, and hope you find a little joy when you do.
I do this for me.
Selfish I know.
It’s a bonus if I mark your heart too.

If no one else tells you today,
I love you ❤
Lorene

Its nippy this morning.
My coffee needs to work a little faster on warming me up.

Each sip pushes me further towards feeling human. So many of you want that. Me to have my morning coffee that is, and be human before I go out in public.
I know it’s all in my head. I can be human without the magical beans, but what fun would that be?

Everyone needs a little magic in their lives.
It could be coffee, hot tea, a vanilla cream filled maple slathered, soft,sweet long john. Don’t ask me why that is so specific.

Watching a sunrise is a magical way to start the day, and a sunset to finish it.
A lightening storm.
Wow, just wow. Magic. Power. Beauty.
The magic of nature is always inspiring.

You have that magic within you.
You could very well be someone else’s magic.
The reason they smile in the morning, make it through the day without a melt down.
You could be that person someone waits to hear from, a text, call, or following you on Facebook.

Be careful of the magic you put out.
Others are using it to be human. And Lord knows we need more and more good humans to over power the bad.

I’ve rambled enough. I’m going to take my magical beans, scroll Facebook for some positive mojo, maybe put some out of my own.
Have a magical day!
Lorene

My flowers have lasted over a week! Some of them are a little wilted but hanging in there still beautiful and fragrant. I take the time to stop and adore them, inhale their beauty because I know they wont last forever.

Most things don’t.

I won’t say nothing lasts forever.
There are always memories, love, oh and Betty White.

I attended a great lady’s 99th life celebration yesterday. Now there is a beauty that God has blessed us with for a almost a century. The bits of wisdom she has shared with me over the years will last forever. I’ve repeated them to others, written them here so a part of her will be passed along.
I look forward to celebrating next year.
I can only hope to grow up to be like her.

Things in life may come and go, people too. Each chapter, we hold on to some, let go of some and gather new.
Every morning since the beginning of time, the sun has risen.
The moon pulls the oceans away and returns them to us.
The trees continue to supply oxygen to us.
Politicians. Who waste most of above said oxygen. They should be apologizing to the forest.
Farmers and ranchers. Thank you thank you thank you! I love food and I love not having to grow or raise it myself.

We soon take things for granted. We expect it because , well, its just always been that way.
One thing for sure, we must be grateful.
Gratitude is as important as love.
We can lose anything or anyone in the blink of an eye.

Be thankful today.
Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts, share a cup of coffee with me and for being a part of my life.
I am truly grateful.

Excuse me while I watch the sun rise, I want to savor its beauty like it will be my last time.
Lorene

Monday…..
There is only one way to escape it and I’m not ready for that route.

I do wish there was another day tucked in between. Sunday and Monday. A recharge day, just so we don’t lose part of our weekend.

Most of Saturday is used to catch up the house duties, laundry etc.
Maybe staying up past your normal bedtime to enjoy company, movies, dinner out or whatever.
So Sunday, you share time with your church family, go out to eat, maybe do the shopping for the week.

Then rest.

Troy told me last night I sleep more on the couch than the bed.
In my defense, he is a big snuggle bear and I cant help but fall asleep on him.
Sunday seems to be my recharge day. By the time I wake up, my batteries are pretty low.
More so lately.
I wont blame my age, I refuse to use that number for anything but a senior discount.

Seems like I’ve been full throttle this year and I can finally slow down a bit. Whether I want to or not,
My body is saying WHOA NELLIE!

My mind wants to press forward pedal to the floor.
I’m thankful I can still run with the big dogs. No porch sleeping for me.
I’m thankful for a day before Monday and my quiet coffee time before the sun brightens my path.
And thankful for each of you. A smile, a text, a comment, a share always makes my day.

So attack your Monday with a smile! I’ll be at the finish line refueling for tomorrow with you.
Lorene

Coffee and quiet time are on my list of self care moves.

I learned over my half century (lawd that sounds old)I can not help others if I do not take care of myself first.
When the airline attendant says put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then your favorite child, that’s the reason!

Do something for you and your health or sanity.
Go to the gym, dinner with your bestie, reading a good book by the fire, a real book that you can smell the ink on the pages, trust me on that one.

Or just you, your coffee and a cool dark room before the sun rises.
Breathing in all the positivity for the day, exhaling any doubt and negative vibes.

Think about how much better you feel after doing something just for you.
Those feelings show on the outside and draw people towards you. We all want to be around positive, happy people.
It truly rubs off on others.

Best thing is it doesn’t rub off of you, you keep glowing.
Well, this glow bug needs to get moving.
Have a spectacular day!
Help light the way for someone.
But you first.
Lorene

Silence
It can be the most precious thing and the most damning.

Silence is loud.
And what it screams comes straight from our imagination.
Such an important part of communication. Knowing when to be quiet and when to speak up.

Never let someone take your silence and twist it to words you never said.
Or meant.
Say what you feel, own your words.

Say them with firmness and compassion. Explain them if you must.
Don’t write them or text them.

Respect the person enough to take the time to share your words with all the emotion, tone and meaning. Look them in the eye. Touch them, hold them, whatever expresses how you want those words to make them feel.

Don’t speak out of anger.
Words are forever.
Good or bad.

I love you!
Lorene

Oh the holidays.

A great time for vacations, family, memory making and reminiscing.

Many families have traditions.
I remember holidays at my grandparents house. Aunts, uncles, cousins, food and grandma’s divinity fudge.
I’m not a sweets person, but that fudge was to die for. I would make myself sick eating my share, plus a few other’s.

All of the cousins running in and out of the house, playing tag, hide and seek, enjoying life. Not a care or worry in the world.
The grow ups sitting outside smoking their cigarettes, drinking their tea, or whatever they slipped in their glass, watching us burn off all that energy and fudge before returning home.

My cousins were my first best friends.
After grandma passed away, it all changed. Crazy how one person can be the glue for an entire family.
I miss those days.

To all my cousins, aunts, uncles, in-laws and outlaws…
I love and miss you!
Lorene

Up a half hour before my alarm. I laid there listening to house sounds, Troy’s heavy breathing, not quite a snore, and the tinkle of Maddies collar as she gets comfy again.

I moved to my quiet room, now coffee In Hand.
It’s that time of year I want to keep busy and not think too much.
I lost my mom in December 13 years ago.

A part of me blames myself.
I feel guilty for the times I rushed down to Lawton but was too busy to swing by and say hello, see her face, hold her hand, hug her.
And now, that’s impossible.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I see her. It’s amazing how much I look like her.
I hear her words cross my lips at times.
I miss her.
I still have conversations with her, well, I talk, she listens.

The day I died, I believe she was one of the voices in that white room. Guiding me once more. Such an overwhelming sense of peace surrounded me.
I know she watches over me.

Being my guardian angel would be way too much work, but she is here with me.
Once in a while the passenger seat belt light will come on for no reason.
No earthly reason.
I say hello Mom and it goes out.

Don’t miss the chance to say I love you.
Hugs, I love you
Lorene

I did it.
I took a few days off.

My staff is finally taking vacations after being so short staffed.
After working 50 and 60 hour weeks, I decided I needed a mental health day or two. The holiday is very slow with most of the hospital off, so now is the perfect time for me to lay low. I have a capable staff to handle things while I’m gone and I’m just a text away.

So here I sit at 9 am in my gown and coffee. I slept in a bit and missed my dark room time, but coffee tastes the same, house makes the same noise, I can just see the dust on the shelf. A quiet reminder I need swiffer pads.

Huh.
I need to fill my cup once more.
Not just my coffee cup, that’s a given, but me. I feel a little empty and I cant give if that happens.
I am to the point of feeling like I just don’t want to….anything.
I need to recharge, inhale more motivation and energy to tackle the end of the year.

Refill my sharing cup.
Have some me time.
Relax.
Snuggle my husband and fur baby.
Have lunch with friends.
Have no deadlines.
No alarms. Well, my inner alarm still gets me up by 5. But I can stay in bed if I want.

Time to just…BE

I know some of you feel the same way.
Don’t burnout.
Take time for yourself.
It can be an hour or a week.
Just do it.
For you and those around you.
Deep breath, closed eyes, exhale.
Love you all!
Lorene