Lorene Mentality

I admit I haven’t opened my a bible in a long time. My relationship with my God is more one on one.
My prayers are more like conversations.
Just a little chat among friends.
I am one of God’s imperfect friends, and he still loves me and keeps me around. Even gave me a second chance at living one time.
He knows I drink. Not to excess.
Knows I Cuss (not as much as my Goodyear days)
I don’t go to a physical church building on Sundays for worship.
I don’t sit and read my Bible.
And we are still friends.
If you think that makes me a bad Christian, shame on you for judging and trying to do His job.
My job is to just love.
It’s hard sometimes, there are people that really push the limit. Those are the ones that need it more. But also the ones I sometimes have to let go and let God do his thing.
I am only human.
My prayers are sometimes interrupted just like any other conversation and then resume with, “sorry, where was I?”
It can be aloud or in my head.
But they are prayers.
Many a time I have requested he put his arm around my shoulder and hand across my mouth.
Many, many times.
He is the friend I have had from the beginning. Never has he not been there for me.
Anyway, opening my Bible. I let it open and asked for a little guidance, help with the craziness of the moment in the world right now. I’m not a panic type person and wont fall to the manic actions.
It opened to Psalm 77.
Good read.
Good reminder.
He’s been there before and is there now.
Who says God never answers.
He just uses the original text message.
No emojis
Timeless advice.
And He always reminds me to Love Big.
Lorene

Its rainy and chilly this morning.
Coffee is a Godsend.
So it is the proverbial RAINY DAY….
What have you saved for this day?
I’ve never really understood what “Save it for a rainy day” should entail. It sounds like the rainy day is hard times of some sort.
I like rainy days.
Rain washes away impurities.
It gives life to the plants and animals.
It softens and heals the hard cracked ground after days of heat from a blistering sun.
In the Bible it cleansed the land for 40 days and 40 nights. Actually it scrubbed the fire out of it, providing a new beginning.
Maybe that’s it.
A new beginning.
Save it for a new beginning.
So what do you save for a rainy day?
Is it money? That’s the obvious answer I suppose.
Your expensive perfume? Special occasions only.
That expensive night out with someone, dinner, theater, the sky is the limit.
The new car you’ve always wanted, drive it off the showroom floor.
A dream vacation. An exotic beach or maybe the Alps.
Visiting friend or family you haven’t seen in years.
Telling that certain person your feelings.
And what if that rainy day doesn’t come?
Tomorrow is not promised.
Wear that perfume today.
Go see that someone you miss.
Live for today.
I’m not saying go spend your nest egg like the world ends tomorrow, I’m saying enjoy today.
Do those special things you have been waiting for the right time to do.
The right time is now.
You’ve planned it in your head a million times.
Treat yourself.
Not everything has a price tag or takes a lot of time.
Start with the simple things you desire.
Enjoy the life you’ve been building.
Don’t forget to stop and smell the coffee, slow down and have a cup.
Don’t just watch the rain.
Lorene

Woke up to geese talking, after storm waves, cloudy sunrise and a beautiful view.
The geese are letting the waves carry them to the shore line, where they fly back, water land and take the ride again.
A peaceful, easy morning, for all of us. I will steer clear of the water and settle for the deck and coffee.
The geese are in pairs, a few at a time come up to the deck looking for breakfast. While the others just honk about it.
A small boat carrying fishermen head out to annoy some fish.
The waves splash up against the cabin, sometimes hard enough to feel it rock.
There is a chill in the air and it smells fresh and clean.
Coffee went fast.
Time for more.
I see blue breaking through the clouds.
Its going to be a beautiful day.
Love big
Lorene

First morning alarm since my surgery. And my first early, dark room quiet time with my coffee.
I didnt miss the alarm however my crazy morning thoughts are oh so welcomed.
I’ve been released to desk duty, after promises to my doctor and HR director. I’ll have plenty of paperwork to do. I’ll be interviewing for a few openings also.
I’m ready to see my work tribe.
They have held down the fort the past week, short handed too. And for the next three weeks of my light duty, they will be doing the same.
I’ve followed doctor’s orders this past week. That’s a huge thing if you know me. It’s hard for me not to do what I want. And for the next few weeks, I’ll be a good girl.
My entire schedule is so off kilter. I shut off my alarms, slept in, watched more television in the past week than I have in the past 6 months and watched life just go by.
I don’t like it.
I have my routine for a reason. It keeps me being me. My morning meditation is so good for my mind and soul. Preparing for my day, breaking down what obstacles I may encounter and expecting the best outcome.
Seeing my work peeps, exchanging weekend stories or family happenings. Messaging friends near and far, letting them know they are in my thoughts.
Day to day life.
Last week seemed to put that on hold.
I spent several days alone.
I love my own company, but I could not be a hermit, that’s for sure. I am just the right amount of social.
That said, turning off my phone to sleep or take a nap was a new experience. I always make sure I am there for everyone or anyone that may need me. I rested longer than normal and the world didn’t fall apart because I didn’t answer every message in a matter of seconds. My rest wasn’t interrupted by beeps, whistles or tones.
I forgot what life was like before cell phones.
Yes, I’m that old.
Downtime is good for you whether you know it or not. I found that out the hard way, but my body is in need of a much welcomed rest. I should probably schedule a day here and there in the future. Make it a part of my routine. Cut myself out of the rat race for 24 hours to decompress and rest.
My cup is empty and one coffee will not do it this morning. So I’m off for a refill and search for stretchy pants to wear this morning.
Have a wonderful day.
I missed you all.
Lorene

There are so many ways to say I Love You.
“Text or call me when you get there “
“Don’t forget your jacket”
“Drive safe”
There are many ways to show your love.
Holding them while they cry, and not utter a word.
Making breakfast.
Surrendering the remote.
Cuddling on the couch.
Letting them sleep in.
Putting Vicks on their chest and nose.
Vicks vaporub is Troy’s love language.
He keeps a jar in the night stand. He swears it will cure everything.
And I must admit, when he slathers it on me, I always feel so much better.
The eucalyptus penetrates my passageways as I inhale, opening my senses, Melts into my skin, keeping the cough at bay.
It never has the same affect when I do it myself, so it must be love.
Troy’s way of doctoring me.
Making me feel better.
Comforting me.
Easing my discomfort.
Telling me he loves me.
Isn’t that what love is all about?
Caring so much about another that you put their comfort, happiness, health and feelings first. And in doing so, your world is a better place.
Love isn’t a trinket, flowers or candy. It is something money can’t buy.
It’s respect.
Encouragement
Support
And sometimes a little Vicks.
I watched 2 friends get married yesterday.
It may have been their official day of man and wife, but they were a committed couple long before that moment.
Two very independent lives living as one.
Together not out of need or necessity, but out of love and respect.
They are each others biggest cheerleaders.
They laugh together.
Enjoy each other’s company.
They can live without each other but choose not to.
A piece of paper does not make a marriage.
But Vicks does.
So can loving out loud, and loving big.
Lorene

Good morning
I haven’t written much since my surgery. I thought I’d have all this free time sitting at home, bored.
Well, I am.
I am sleeping in, taking naps, vegging out. Basically trying not to think too much.
I have a hard time doing what the doctor tells me to do.
Maybe it makes me feel weak.
Helpless.
Useless.
I know my body needs the rest.
I’ll go back to work Monday with the promise it is just desk duty for the next 3 weeks. Pushing papers. Oh joy, my favorite past time.
Time to get my brain back to functioning and focusing on priorities.
This week seemed long and drawn out, I didn’t think I’d ever feel better. My bellybutton is still mad, but my soreness has subsided. Only the first night did I hurt enough for a pain pill. After that it’s been Aleve and coffee.
Yes, it still hurt, but a manageable pain. For that I am grateful.
I feel like I’ve wasted a week sitting at home binge watching the Vampire Diaries. I am not used to doing nothing for so long. Is this what staycations feel like? I haven’t driven all week, or left the house other than the front porch.
I may venture out this weekend.
Brunch is always nice.
I’m not worried about the coronavirus, I wash my hands. I’ve had the flu and pulled thru it. I wouldn’t go out in public if I felt ill.
Most of all, I wont panic.
I’m mentally ready to get back to being me. Go go go….
My body isn’t quite there, but it’s trying to catch up and I’ll be patient.
I may play in the kitchen this weekend. Cook something out of the ordinary.
Or write.
It’s time to give Big Daddy a break. He has been such a great care giver to me. I normally don’t let him, i do things for myself, but this time I just enjoyed watching him buzz around me, making sure I was comfortable. Cooking amazing meals when I finally felt like eating. All after a long day at the shop. It sounds selfish, I know. If you know us, you know its not. Neither of us want to be a burden to the other, but both of us love being able to take care of each other. Being able to spoil the other just a bit, take a little stress away, show our love yet another way.
Letting go of a little independence, allowing the other to do things for us, is our way of saying I love you, and i know you will protect me if I ever cant protect myself. I trust you with my well being, my life. I know I am not a burden , I am your other half, and you are the same for me. We are in this together. Forever.
I love you Big Daddy.
Love Big!
Lorene

I am dressed, sort of, a dress and a blanket on the porch. Coffee and a new book.
It’s a little chilly but beautiful outside. I’m trying to absorb some natural vitamin D.
I’m not used to be limited. I feel good except for the soreness in my abdomen. Moving into the sitting or standing position pulls those stomach muscles and they aren’t happy right now.
I don’t know why I thought it wouldn’t hurt but a day or two. Lol. Wishful thinking. I’ll get through it. Don’t want to do the pain meds, so Aleve is my friend.
I had enough TV yesterday to last me a long time. I’ve worked on menus, now I’ll try a little reading and sunshine. I’m bored but need to keep my brain occupied since my body is on a leave of absence.
I am grateful my staff can handle the day to day operations, I have the PTO available to be off as long as I need, and the support of friends texting and checking in on me to make sure I haven’t flown the coop.
And of course my wonderful Troy. Cooking for me and watching over me.
Well, this book wont read itself.
Have a wonderful day!
Lorene

Who says dreams never come true?
I lived a short term dream that left a lifetime of memories.
Every day I miss living it.
I miss the organized chaos in the kitchen, walking through the dining room to to say hello to my customers. Customers that became my friends.
I miss designing meals for people, specials, going in early to just sit at the bar with toast and coffee and pinch myself to remind me that I am awake and this is MY DREAM, in living color.
Bistro Lorene only lasted 3 years, in a brick and mortar structure. But for me and some of my staff and regulars, it will last forever.
The Bistro is the place where they met their spouse, made their first $100 tip, and even saw their children fight over fried brussel sprouts.
So now. I am on a mission to make it last forever. I won’t say a cookbook, cookbooks are just recipes with pictures of food and maybe a quip here and there.
This is a Bistro Lorene memoir.
Full of flavor.
Stories
Recipes
Pictures
History
Musings
My dream all wrapped up in a pretty cover.
And I am excited.
It is getting closer.
Just when I think I have written all I can, more memories flood through. My publisher is amazing at pointing things out that I don’t think are book worthy.
I cant wait to share it with you. Maybe one of your Bistro memories is included.
I never thought I would leave a mark on this world, but here I am, children, grandchildren and open faced meatloaf sandwiches.
Damn,
Life is good.
Love big,

Lorene

Queen Lorene update:
Yes I was still under the influence of anesthesia when this was taken. I had just returned to my castle to settle down. I thought I’d share, if you cant laugh at yourself, you cant be happy.
I am happy.
And sore.
I have a 5lb weight restriction. That’s not a lot! My purse weights more that that. Lifting my full tea kettle this morning pulled a little. My fur baby weighs about 12lbs and she a small puppy. 😭
I do not like being stuck without transportation. Troy took my truck since I’m not allowed to drive just yet. Not that I’ll go anywhere, but it’s the principle. Ugh.
Independence has always been my thing.
Bright side, no pants, no bra. Possibly all week. I’ll get some reading and writing in and possible a Netflix show or two.
Or maybe I’ll lounge around in my crown and command the remote.
It’s good to be Queen!
Lorene

The wind is going at it this morning.
Another ponytail day.
I like when nature dictates a ponytail.
Its easy, comfortable and simple.
The older I get the more important comfort is to me. Trying to impress people like when I was young just doesn’t happen anymore.
I remember using a hanger in the holes of my jeans zipper to pull it up. Sometimes a pair of pliers. Tight, starched jeans. Oh my, now IF I wear jeans, there is spandex involved.
Skirts and sun dresses are what’s best for me now. No pantyhose to fake a tan. I am white. I glow in the dark. It’s fine. I’m fine. I embraced it. No socks if possible either.
Slip on shoes. No laces. Easy and simple.
I was never one for a lot of make up, maybe some mascara and lip gloss. Going out meant some face powder and blush. Now, I wash my face and smile. So much simpler and time for an extra cup of coffee.
Is it being lazy?
I don’t think so.
I have learned over the years to live for me. Not anyone else.
If I am comfortable and it makes me happy, so be it.
If I would rather have an extra cup of coffee in the morning than spend 30 minutes fixing my hair or face,
I will.
And be happy about it.
I have never had anyone tell me I should wear make up.
I should dress up more.
I should curl my hair.
I should wear high heels.
And no one better.
They may get a lesson on loving themselves.
At my age, I have come to realize time is precious.
I wish I had learned that early in life.
Every second should be spent happy.
Spent with family, friends and people that help make you happy.
It’s ok to not include toxic people.
Read that again.
Even if its family.
Once you spend time, you can’t earn any more. The account slowly dwindles away.
One and done every minute of the day.
When I am on the couch watching mindless television, all day on a Saturday I used to feel like I wasted the day away.
Now I know I am actually spending time with me. And that’s important.
Because I am important.
I need quality time too.
Time to recharge.
Time to just be.
And I will never feel guilty taking it.
I have simplified my life. Now if I could just declutter what I’ve amassed over the decades…
Well, since it’s a ponytail day. I am having another cup of coffee.
Spend a few extra minutes with me.
Love big
Lorene